Me, Married, 40, and with two young kids:
You gotta book it a week in advance.
And hope nobody falls asleep first.
Or during
We do, but then life gets in the way. This week we are dealing with an outbreak of hand foot and mouth, which our house has been flattened with every spring for the last 3 years.
- I’m too gassy
- I have a headache
- I’m exhausted
- the kids are still up
- I wanted to watch this movie
- I need to get up in the morning
- I’m not in the mood
- I need to shower
- I just showered
- my back hurts
- my hips hurt
these are all the ones I can remember from the past year. all excuses are not gender specific.
- I need to shower
- I just showered
I hate how accurate this is.
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Listen I’m old, those cheeks are getting clapped at 3pm.
Gonna find my baby gonna hold her tight
Gonna grab some afternoon delight
I haven’t had that kind of stamina since I was 20.
Hit me up around 9pm so I can smoothly transistion from after sex cuddling and pillow talk to snoring in your ear and drooling on the pillow. Don’t ever say I don’t know how to treat a lady right.
Morning sex FTW.
Workplace sex even better. Why poop on company time when you can have sex on company time.
Just make sure no ones a snitch first, cause HR usually frowns on that. And sometimes the law too
Sex HR. Problem solved.
Sex HER. Problem solved.
I’m already trying to do that! What are you missing?
Try to get a job at the Sexagon.
Years ago :
Coworker : Sorry for coming to this standup late, I got waylaid
me : Yeah, I got way laid last night tooI have chronic insomnia. Four hours of sleep seems almost like licentious indulgence.
