how could I pass up an offer like that?

Having sex with staff (consensually) > public masturbation

I’m only asking for help if he is cute.

Hi, got a staff here.

I put on my robe and wizard hat

Hopefully the staff have good hand washing procedures.

me, standing in the restoom near the sinks for 20 minutes

“When the hell are the employees gonna come wash my hands?”

I work in a clothing store, I will “assist” you in the fitting room if you bring me a bag of cookies from the nearby cookie stand.

Assistance please

Does that cost extra?