You forgot they season it with moss, musk, or some random type of wood. WTF do they think I am, a termite?
That’s last year’s model. This year’s model includes a beard.
I bet the side of that flask has little holders for your cigars and beard trimmers too.
I want pretty candles and fruity rum. I’ll always be happy if people get me pretty candles and fruity rum.
And fuck flasks. It’s impossible to tell when their full except when they overflow. I have one and I hate it.
You could use a measuring cup and a funnel. Fill the flask with water, then pour it out into the empty measuring cup to figure out its volume. Then only fill it with that much whiskey or whatever
Only works if it’s empty, or you measure/record pourings
Books are the ultimate gift form.
Metal flasks are such a stupid gift.
You want whiskey? Buy a god damned bottle. A flask holds A big pour of liquid. You’re going to bring a drink somewhere? Good one, Bevis.
Sneaking it into something? Nope, it’s metal and clunky big.
Metal conducts heat, so your bodyheat hot whiskey will burn the whole time, no matter how good it is.
Be an adult and buy a plastic nalgeen flask you keep in your sock. Does the place do pat-downs? Ok, then chug 8 oz of whiskey in the parking lot like god intended. They can’t take it from you when it’s in you already. ; )
I bought a plastic flask in college and my buddies ragged on me for being cheap… they all borrowed it at least once because the venue they wanted to go to had metal detectors.
Yep. Taken mine into Pitchfork, hockey games, and whatever else. Metal flasks are as useful as a plaque on a wall. Nice visually, not functionally.
Metal conducts heat
A friend of mine put Jägermeister straight from the freezer into a flask and shoved it down their pants. 30 minutes later the liquid had expanded so much the flask burst.
You can never go wrong buying a man a sword
It’s educational
What if they cut themselves?
That will be an important lesson
Something that you really want and is worth $1 but you can’t buy for less than $20 is something you’ll never buy for yourself. That’s often a pretty good gift.
Yeah, I just send people my list of shit that I think I want but I’m on the fence about spending money on when they ask for gift ideas. Can’t go wrong there. Certainly better than them going off script and trying to get something on their own based off what they think they know about my interests.
Titties. That’s the only gift any of us need.
You have to go to Nevada to
sellrent those legally.Correction: soapy tiddies.
It’s like the gift guide knows me so well
buy that special guy in your life another pickup truck because his current pickup truck looks lonely
The flannel is imbued with sandalwood scent…
Wait, what? I thought that scent was Extreme Tiger Bear
Oh man, you’re totally right! Of course they’d use their trademark scent that includes hint-of-leather mixed in?!?
But… I like sandalwood. Also sage and cedar (even tho I’m allergic to real cedar)
Can’t stand those whiskey, smoke, leather, etc “manly” smells.
SAME! Just find it funny that those are the limited selection of “manly” smells.
I prefer floral scents but my wife is allergic.
She’s also allergic to whatever they use for a lot of the “manly” scents so I’m limited to whatever we discover she can be around without sneezing.
We need real manly scents like:
Drunk Tank
Pack-a-Day Smoker
Day Old Beer
Warm Energy Drink
And…
Aqua Velva
What about other manly scents like:
Used engine oil
Grinder cut-off wheel
Varsol
Orange citrus mechanics soap
Tiger Balm
Used engine oil
Orange citrus mechanics soapI kinda like these tbh. Like… I’d buy a shave soap that smelled like gojo.
Isn’t this just Dior Fahrenheit?
Swap the Fast Orange with Zep Cherry Bomb and that hits way to close to home.
Let me introduce you to the epitome of “seriously?” :
Chiseled Face - Midnight Stag:Scent is made of the following notes: Russian Leather, Motor Oil, Hoppes #9, Birch Tar, Oakmoss, Gasoline, Smoke, Cedar, Cade, Bergamot, Vanilla
Coincidentally, my favorite cologne has notes of violet. And sandalwood…
There are some gifts that are good for a lot of people regardless of their interests, but these guides never seem to know any of them and it’s annoying.
For instance everywhere cold that I’ve lived, people would love another heated blanket, even if they already have one. Or really just any blanket, can’t have too many. Also a good evaporative humidifier is something everyone needs and no one has. It took me 15 years to buy a real carpet cleaner for myself, just check their house while you’re over to see if there’s one lying around. Consumable stuff is great because even if they already have it they can use more soon.
Guides ignore this kind of thing and pretty much exclusively recommend stuff that most people wouldn’t like due to tastes. “Get them this clip-on book light!” but they only read on tablets, or they already have a light because that problem needed immediate solving, or they simply don’t like the kind you bought because there are so many.
Anyway the guides are terrible, but they don’t have to be.
Often I don’t need specific items. I just need some new concepts to get my mind out of a rut of the same old gift ideas. I don’t want the kind of friends who would like to receive monogrammed anything.
It’s because most of these ‘guides’ are drop shipping or affiliate link farming.
But where do I put my whiskey flavored knife?
In the convenient storage slot next to the built-in man scaping kit (including mustache comb, beard oil dispenser, and straight razor in the shape of an assault weapon)
I hate that I’m such a stereotype; but I legitimately want this stuff lol.
