I’ve never married. I have no children nor do I ever want them.
I’ve been what many would describe as “successful” in my professional life.
I have modest personal wealth which allows me to travel far more extensively than most people.
In the last few years, I’ve started dating an age pool that many of my contemporaries consider “too young.” Not even close to the age gap that our dear Violet is describing, but enough that I’ve gotten the eye rolls and comments and “sugar daddy” accusations.
The women I date have college degrees. They have independence. They have their own money. Many are entrepreneurs, as am I. Almost all, like me, can work remotely from anywhere that has internet access.
A vast majority of women my age are not interested in the lifestyle I want and have. I’ve found it to just be far more rare.
Younger women are more likely to be aligned with me politically. My experience is that women my age are more likely to have the old pension mindset rather than entrepreneurial mindset.
Can I find someone my age that shares my values and lifestyle? Absolutely - but I’ve found that pool is far, far smaller as you increase the age range.
I’ll take the eye rolls and comments if it allows me to go to away at the last minute for a weekend in Ibiza or Saint Tropez whenever I choose. My childfree ass will take that over visiting her grandkids any day.
Changing where you live can really reverse what you’re describing, but I know that’s not always realistic. I live in the Bay Area and I’m middle-aged. The dating pool is full of people who my values and who like doing stuff I’m into, like going to live music and rocking out. Less than with younger people, but that’s about stamina more than interests.
If I lived in the midwest, where my family all live, there’d be nothing. Conservative bland bullshit. Dunno where you live, but something to consider.
I’m bicoastal in two gigantic cities and counterintuitively that likely exacerbates the problem.
I would love to be with someone “age appropriate” (hate that term) if they align with my lifestyle. I’ve probably encountered that less than five times.
Maybe I’m immature? Midlife crisis? I don’t think so and my therapist is brutally honest - she doesn’t see any red flags. I’m choosy about those with whom I share my time and I’m probably overly conscious that there isn’t an unhealthy power dynamic (as is common with larger age gaps.)
I’ve done the Cyclades as well. Mykonos is definitely the same vibe I’m describing. Finding someone my age who prefers a late night at Scorpios over an early morning at a farmers market is not as easy as it sounds.
This is where I’m at now.
I’ve never married. I have no children nor do I ever want them.
I’ve been what many would describe as “successful” in my professional life.
I have modest personal wealth which allows me to travel far more extensively than most people.
In the last few years, I’ve started dating an age pool that many of my contemporaries consider “too young.” Not even close to the age gap that our dear Violet is describing, but enough that I’ve gotten the eye rolls and comments and “sugar daddy” accusations.
The women I date have college degrees. They have independence. They have their own money. Many are entrepreneurs, as am I. Almost all, like me, can work remotely from anywhere that has internet access.
A vast majority of women my age are not interested in the lifestyle I want and have. I’ve found it to just be far more rare.
Younger women are more likely to be aligned with me politically. My experience is that women my age are more likely to have the old pension mindset rather than entrepreneurial mindset.
Can I find someone my age that shares my values and lifestyle? Absolutely - but I’ve found that pool is far, far smaller as you increase the age range.
I’ll take the eye rolls and comments if it allows me to go to away at the last minute for a weekend in Ibiza or Saint Tropez whenever I choose. My childfree ass will take that over visiting her grandkids any day.
Changing where you live can really reverse what you’re describing, but I know that’s not always realistic. I live in the Bay Area and I’m middle-aged. The dating pool is full of people who my values and who like doing stuff I’m into, like going to live music and rocking out. Less than with younger people, but that’s about stamina more than interests.
If I lived in the midwest, where my family all live, there’d be nothing. Conservative bland bullshit. Dunno where you live, but something to consider.
Definitely appreciate the comment.
I’m bicoastal in two gigantic cities and counterintuitively that likely exacerbates the problem.
I would love to be with someone “age appropriate” (hate that term) if they align with my lifestyle. I’ve probably encountered that less than five times.
Maybe I’m immature? Midlife crisis? I don’t think so and my therapist is brutally honest - she doesn’t see any red flags. I’m choosy about those with whom I share my time and I’m probably overly conscious that there isn’t an unhealthy power dynamic (as is common with larger age gaps.)
☝️ this almost word for word except I was thinking Greek isles rather than St. Tropez.
I’ve done the Cyclades as well. Mykonos is definitely the same vibe I’m describing. Finding someone my age who prefers a late night at Scorpios over an early morning at a farmers market is not as easy as it sounds.