• wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    5
    arrow-down
    9
    ·
    8 hours ago

    Sure, make a post about guys and see how long it takes these same users to comment saying “why is this unnecessarily gendered?!? Women experience this too!” Or even “That’s not an issue men face! It’s clearly a women’s issue.”

      • Soulg@ani.social
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        1
        arrow-down
        4
        ·
        4 hours ago

        Literally any community that is mostly women when someone complains about a guy issue

        Or the numerous accounts of women finally acknowledging some things men have been complaining about for years once trans men start talking about them (alienation, mental damage from constantly being treated like a predator by default, etc)

        • velma@sh.itjust.works
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          edit-2
          4 hours ago

          Literally any community that is mostly women when someone complains about a guy issue

          If it’s a women’s community, that’s very understandable. A man will find better answers for a guy issue in a men’s community. Same as if a woman posted a women’s issue in a men’s community - it would be inappropriate and out of place.

          Is this community mostly men or a men’s community and thus women are not allowed to post from their perspective? Must women center men or include men in every post in this community?

          • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            3
            arrow-down
            3
            ·
            7 hours ago

            Are you saying you won’t take my word for it as a man that my experiences as a man have included a pattern of being invalidated and erased in spaces where people talk about the problems they face?

            Imagine if the roles were reversed. Imagine a man saying “You said it happens all the time. Can you show me what you’re talking about?” to a woman who says she’s experienced a pattern of treatment by society.

            • velma@sh.itjust.works
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              3
              arrow-down
              1
              ·
              edit-2
              7 hours ago

              “You said it happens all the time. Can you show me what you’re talking about?” to a woman who says she’s experienced a pattern of treatment by society.

              And I would be able to pull up quite a few examples, including this post right here.

              • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                2
                arrow-down
                2
                ·
                7 hours ago

                But would you? It seems more often the response is just to call it misogyny that someone would even ask for proof.

                And what about for discourse about stuff that happens in person rather than online, where there’s no written record of the things said and done?

                How do you prove microaggressions that are whispered in passing? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to prove that kind of experience.

                • velma@sh.itjust.works
                  link
                  fedilink
                  arrow-up
                  2
                  arrow-down
                  1
                  ·
                  7 hours ago

                  You brought up a very specific scenario:

                  Sure, make a post about guys and see how long it takes these same users to comment saying “why is this unnecessarily gendered?!? Women experience this too!” Or even “That’s not an issue men face! It’s clearly a women’s issue.”

                  Can you share posts that men have made from their perspective where women came in and asked why it’s gendered?

                  Like what happened in this post.

                  • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz
                    link
                    fedilink
                    arrow-up
                    1
                    arrow-down
                    2
                    ·
                    7 hours ago

                    This is the first thing that came to mind, but it’s more that a woman deliberately made something gendered that wasn’t gendered to begin with, specifically to attack men, and then when men took issue with she doubled-down with some exceptionalist rhetoric and moral pedestal standing while saying she doesn’t care about men’s feelings and that they should just suck it up because no one cares about them or their problems:

                    https://piefed.social/comment/9567473

                    As you’ll see, not all of that is still visible as most of the conversation got removed.

                    And of course it’s not the exact scenario, but I’m not going to go digging to look for situations that match a little better, even though many of those have been more recent.