• wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        arrow-down
        3
        ·
        7 hours ago

        Are you saying you won’t take my word for it as a man that my experiences as a man have included a pattern of being invalidated and erased in spaces where people talk about the problems they face?

        Imagine if the roles were reversed. Imagine a man saying “You said it happens all the time. Can you show me what you’re talking about?” to a woman who says she’s experienced a pattern of treatment by society.

        • velma@sh.itjust.works
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          edit-2
          7 hours ago

          “You said it happens all the time. Can you show me what you’re talking about?” to a woman who says she’s experienced a pattern of treatment by society.

          And I would be able to pull up quite a few examples, including this post right here.

          • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            2
            arrow-down
            2
            ·
            7 hours ago

            But would you? It seems more often the response is just to call it misogyny that someone would even ask for proof.

            And what about for discourse about stuff that happens in person rather than online, where there’s no written record of the things said and done?

            How do you prove microaggressions that are whispered in passing? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to prove that kind of experience.

            • velma@sh.itjust.works
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              2
              arrow-down
              1
              ·
              7 hours ago

              You brought up a very specific scenario:

              Sure, make a post about guys and see how long it takes these same users to comment saying “why is this unnecessarily gendered?!? Women experience this too!” Or even “That’s not an issue men face! It’s clearly a women’s issue.”

              Can you share posts that men have made from their perspective where women came in and asked why it’s gendered?

              Like what happened in this post.

              • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                1
                arrow-down
                2
                ·
                7 hours ago

                This is the first thing that came to mind, but it’s more that a woman deliberately made something gendered that wasn’t gendered to begin with, specifically to attack men, and then when men took issue with she doubled-down with some exceptionalist rhetoric and moral pedestal standing while saying she doesn’t care about men’s feelings and that they should just suck it up because no one cares about them or their problems:

                https://piefed.social/comment/9567473

                As you’ll see, not all of that is still visible as most of the conversation got removed.

                And of course it’s not the exact scenario, but I’m not going to go digging to look for situations that match a little better, even though many of those have been more recent.