• Samskara@sh.itjust.works
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    14 hours ago

    Men

    • higher loneliness
    • seen as dangerous by default
    • higher mental illness
    • worse academic performance
    • higher suicide rates
    • higher rates of homelessness
    • less likely to get child custody in a divorce
    • less support infrastructure
    • are more likely to be dismissed when asking for help
    • work more dangerous jobs
    • higher workplace accident rate
    • higher probability to be victim of a violent crime
    • more likely to suffer from addiction (gambling, porn, substances)
    • lower life expectancy
    • higher incarceration rate
    • more likely to be poor
    • TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.today
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      9 hours ago

      Women

      • economic inequality
      • unpaid labor and caregiving
      • gender based violence
      • greater healthcare discrepancies
      • professional and political barriers
      • education barriers

      Do you see the discrepancies between the two list? Everything you listed is something that we men either do to ourselves, or is done to us by a political/economic entity that is dominated by other males. The same can’t be said for list for women.

        • TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.today
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          8 hours ago

          Nuance also exists…

          Also it’s not really a competition when only one group is being oppressed.

          Or are you claiming men are being oppressed by the system that was created and operated by men?

          My whole point is that women are systemically being targeted by a system created by men, specifically because they are women. While men are being negatively affected by a system built by men because of reasons besides their sex.

          I’m not claiming men do not experience hardship that is unique to their sex, it’s just not specifically being done to them because of their sex.

    • Asafum@lemmy.world
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      13 hours ago

      Yes, but I think the point was the white part of “white men.”

      I was “lucky” enough to have my privilege put in plain english during a job interview. I’m white and this guy literally says “it so hard to find a clean cut white guy for this job, I don’t want some Dominican walking into a customers store with our logo on.” If I was not white I would not have gotten that job.

      But yes, as you say, I’m stuck working in a factory right now with shitty air quality, I’ve been single for almost a decade, have severe anxiety and depression, and am fairly poor. Still doesn’t mean I don’t have privilege for simply being white. :/

      • Beesbeesbees@lemmy.world
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        2 hours ago

        This is a good point to bring up. My friend who is far less educated and her husband have awful jobs compared to me, but because they have generational wealth they are much better off in life. They have homes, land, etc all because they were passed down. At the same time, they would rail against being called privileged, but they could sell that home for half a million dollars and never go into the debts or put in the work others have to just to have a roof over their heads.

      • ZJBlank@lemmy.world
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        11 hours ago

        Big fucking yikes, they just said that out loud?

        I’m in kinda the same boat, early 30s white guy, shitty job (truck driver), single, and so depressed and anxious that I’m currently on short term disability because of it.

        I feel like the big problem with the discourse around white privilege is that most people misunderstand what it actually means. It doesn’t mean that everything is handed to you purely because of skin colour, and it doesn’t mean that things can’t be difficult. It just means that we get an unspoken, and often unconscious advantage over our racialized peers in our white-dominated society.

      • angstylittlecatboy@reddthat.com
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        10 hours ago

        I don’t see how nobody else sees a connection between the way men are viewed, and the way black people, who are viewed as more masculine in society than other races, are viewed. A significant portion of that list is a list of what black people go through, black men even moreso.

    • NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world
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      9 hours ago

      What is the source of these issues?

      Maybe men should stop being so shitty to men, but more so they should definitely stop being so hostile and abusive to women.

      • ShrimpCurler@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        3 hours ago

        I’m sure all the male homicide victims would be really glad they weren’t killed by women because then they would have lost their privilege…

        I really hate this reasoning I see sometimes that because men hurt other men we don’t need to care about those victims. We can just dismiss them and assume they still have all their male privilege because a smaller number of women are also victims. How about we stop framing all this stuff as men vs women and who has it better and instead focus on the actual problems and the actual victims regardless of their gender expression?

      • LurkingLuddite@piefed.social
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        9 hours ago

        Maybe it’s not all men and using such generic language is akin to saying, “maybe the gays should stop being so flamboiyant if they want acceptance”?

        • NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world
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          8 hours ago

          Nice dog whistle.

          Where did I say “all men?” Is it not entirely possible that these are all issues caused explicitly by men while there is also a conscious awareness from other men who are aware of and trying to address the issue? Men are the issue, or more accurately the concept of obligate masculinity is, but guess what demographic is enforcing that mindset?

          Hint: not women, and if you think it is then you don’t listen to women nor men.

          • LurkingLuddite@piefed.social
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            30 minutes ago

            Not a dog whistle. I’m most likely more progressive than you, but you keep trying to feel superior to others! That’s definitely not a part of the problem!

          • eestileib@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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            8 hours ago

            Women police the patriarchy plenty.

            My experience from square straight married life is that women want men in general to be gentle and kind and whatnot, but they want their own husband to be capable of violence.

            At least that was my wife, there were aspects of toxic masculinity that she absolutely encouraged.

            Like, one time I got on a busy train with her and another guy got scared of me and left his seat. She sat down and smiled and patted my hand and said “that’s respect right there baby”

            And I totally understand the desire to have sex with a big strong not too bright dominant guy, trust me I get it.

            It’s not just SOs, mothers often play a huge part in conditioning men for the patriarchy, calling them little soldiers, telling them not to cry, to fight back at the bully at school, etc.

            • NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world
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              8 hours ago

              So, because women also have the ability to subjectively be shitty people and internalize misogyny that means no men are to blame for the outlined issues?

              Don’t date or marry shitty toxic people.

          • Samskara@sh.itjust.works
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            8 hours ago

            The gay community is not uniformly homogeneous. There are plenty of gay men who aren’t big fans of flamboyant queer culture.

            • TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.today
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              7 hours ago

              “Aren’t big fans” is not the same as being bigoted, or discriminating against…

              Do think there are some Lincoln Republic gays out their thinking Tommy is going to hell, not because he’s queer, but because he sashays too hard?

                • Chippys_mittens@lemmy.worldOP
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                  1 hour ago

                  Unironically my best friend is a lesbian. She makes fun of flamboyant men or exceptionally butchy women but its not in a genuinely hateful way. She and her wife use terminology I’ve never dreamed of to describe other queer folk too. A “Hey mama” is my favorite recent one, pretty sure it means an attention seeking lesbian. So I kinda see what you’re both saying. Dude saying some gay people HATE flamboyant gay men is less correct though. I played the “I have a gay friend” card it was super effective. Thats three non trolling responses so far.

                • TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.today
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                  5 hours ago

                  Yes? I’m even friends with several queer people…shocking as that may be.

                  I even know a few conservative leaning gay dudes, our gay district has a gaybar specifically for cowboys. Even they don’t hate or discriminate against flamboyant gay men. They might not seek their company or want anything to do with that particular scene, but they are still neighborly.

    • hesh@quokk.au
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      13 hours ago

      These are all great reasons for men to want to dismantle the patriarchy (the cause of them all)

      • Samskara@sh.itjust.works
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        12 hours ago

        You don’t dismantle the patriarchy by attacking men and blaming them for everything. The patriarchy is upheld by women as well. Women have privileges under the patriarchy, that feminists are not ready to let go off.

        A post patriarchy has to be better for everybody and can only be reached by gaining the support of men.

        The current trend is a growing political division between men and women with women moving to the left and men to the right. The currently employed strategy of putting men down makes this worse.

    • Hacksaw@lemmy.ca
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      13 hours ago

      Yes and you know what all us leftists say, “if you have any adversity it means you never had any privilege at all in the first place” very valid. Thank you for your contribution.