The only way to stop being gay is to never touch her again, otherwise you’re touching someone who has touched a dick and by the transitive property that makes you gay. Touching your wife is gay.
What about when you’re out shopping and you’re unloading the contents of the trolley onto the conveyor belt at the checkout and you accidentally touch your wife’s box of tampons/panty liners?
Does that make you gay??
I guess you’re already gay at that point for unloading the trolley
What if you are in a manly bar drinking manly beer. And you strike up a manly conversation with an other man about lumberjacking or something. And when you talk about sharpening your manly axe, you accidentally touch their hairy hand. Which causes your piercingly manly gazes to lock like the door on a sportscar.
So you start talking about WWE and show each other how to perform a death grip with your arms tightly around each other.
Then you want to test the strength of their lips, by giving them a manly kiss.
And you carry them like a firefighter into a toilet stall to compare your manly leather underwear.
And you end up fucking the shit out of each other.
Yes, and on top of that, pooping is slightly gay. Also, using your hands to pee is gay because you’re touching a dick. Also sitting down to pee is gay. And do NOT wash your penis, unless you’re super gay.
Now I have to tell my wife I’ve been gay all these years.
The only way to stop being gay is to never touch her again, otherwise you’re touching someone who has touched a dick and by the transitive property that makes you gay. Touching your wife is gay.
Is wiping your arse gay?
Definitely. You’re gay just for asking.
Ok, thanks for clarifying.
I’ve got another…
What about when you’re out shopping and you’re unloading the contents of the trolley onto the conveyor belt at the checkout and you accidentally touch your wife’s box of tampons/panty liners?
Does that make you gay??
I guess you’re already gay at that point for unloading the trolley
Exactly. You’re in the grocery store for something other than beer? Gay.
And that ignores the fact that just buying feminine products makes you Uber-Queer.
I have an other.
What if you are in a manly bar drinking manly beer. And you strike up a manly conversation with an other man about lumberjacking or something. And when you talk about sharpening your manly axe, you accidentally touch their hairy hand. Which causes your piercingly manly gazes to lock like the door on a sportscar.
So you start talking about WWE and show each other how to perform a death grip with your arms tightly around each other. Then you want to test the strength of their lips, by giving them a manly kiss. And you carry them like a firefighter into a toilet stall to compare your manly leather underwear.
And you end up fucking the shit out of each other.
Is that gay?
Fabulously specific…
Were socks being worn? Was “no homo” uttered?
Yes, and on top of that, pooping is slightly gay. Also, using your hands to pee is gay because you’re touching a dick. Also sitting down to pee is gay. And do NOT wash your penis, unless you’re super gay.
Only if you don’t get her pregnant.