In my admittedly limited experience, women willing to kiss a guy are still often going to be reluctant to do something that they think might hurt that guy, even if the guy insists otherwise.
Honestly same but with guys. Guys that are too keen on hurting a woman are obviously bad, but then they can go the other direction and not be willing to do something even if the woman is a very willing participant.
Not saying I blame them, it’s just a consequence of our society’s general issues with consent.
I’m armchair Freuding a bit, but I think that’s one of the reasons “Femdom” type pornos seem to be enjoyed by some men.
Like I totally get wanting a woman to take control. But the “femdom” stuff online tends to be degarding, straight up mean. (Which some people like and is okay, but it’s more mainstream than I’d imagine).
I think it’s much more that people sexually like exaggerations of what theyre into and sexual power play is a fairly common fantasy. There’s little difference between Masoch’s Venus in Furs and James’s 50 Shades series
But just gonna say I felt this way for a decade or so. A very lonely decade where my only relationship was short lasted and one sided.
But honestly now looking back it kinda feels dumb I looked at myself that way. I’m literally too disabled to work (which I thought would make it impossible to date). And I have this wonderful partner who loves me more than anything, to the point it can be kinda annoying like she’s obsessed with me.
(Sorry if this comes off as a brag, don’t mean it too, just wanna say what can feel hopeless might change).
Easier to imagine a pretty woman wanting to hurt me than imagine one wanting to kiss me.
This mentality also explains the popularity of tsunderes.
In my admittedly limited experience, women willing to kiss a guy are still often going to be reluctant to do something that they think might hurt that guy, even if the guy insists otherwise.
Honestly same but with guys. Guys that are too keen on hurting a woman are obviously bad, but then they can go the other direction and not be willing to do something even if the woman is a very willing participant.
Not saying I blame them, it’s just a consequence of our society’s general issues with consent.
In both cases I think its also just that some people arent comfortable topping
I’m armchair Freuding a bit, but I think that’s one of the reasons “Femdom” type pornos seem to be enjoyed by some men.
Like I totally get wanting a woman to take control. But the “femdom” stuff online tends to be degarding, straight up mean. (Which some people like and is okay, but it’s more mainstream than I’d imagine).
I think it’s much more that people sexually like exaggerations of what theyre into and sexual power play is a fairly common fantasy. There’s little difference between Masoch’s Venus in Furs and James’s 50 Shades series
I think men are just naturally submissive to women and that’s why they like FemDomme. FemDomme isn’t the same as masochism.
I dunno if you want this.
But just gonna say I felt this way for a decade or so. A very lonely decade where my only relationship was short lasted and one sided.
But honestly now looking back it kinda feels dumb I looked at myself that way. I’m literally too disabled to work (which I thought would make it impossible to date). And I have this wonderful partner who loves me more than anything, to the point it can be kinda annoying like she’s obsessed with me.
(Sorry if this comes off as a brag, don’t mean it too, just wanna say what can feel hopeless might change).
That’s incredibly tragic. I might still be single, and I’ve dated some beautiful women, but none of them wanted to hurt me.