I propose a 3 State solution to the Israel / Palestine conflict.
Rather than implementing a two state solution where Israel coexists with Palestine, which we have seen they are incapable of doing, we should involve a third state. Namely, Utah.
It’s pretty simple, really and I don’t understand why no one has thought of it before.
Just move Israel to Utah. That’s it.
Why?
- The biggest issue here is that Israel would be homeless were it not for Palestinian land. This encroachment on Palestine is the reason for the bloodshed.
- It’s silly to act like there isn’t enough land for everyone when we’re not really using Utah.
- It would give the Palestinians their land back and end the bloodshed, allowing them to rebuild even bigger than before. Then maybe they could actually profit off of things like resorts and TGI Fridays
- The USA is a huge supporter of Israel and has been looking for a 51st state for some time now. Also since they’re cash rich from tarrifs and borrowing Venezuela, they could foot the bill and consider it an investment. The taxes would pay for itself in no time.
- Some believe Israel is a holy land promised to them by God. The same is true for Utah, and if you forget about the whole “who is the real Messiah” debate, they’re both talking about the same God.
- Both are kind of just shitty deserts
- Make SLC the next Tel Aviv / Silicon Valley
- The Great Salt Lake is every bit as cool as the Mediterranean and has just as rich of a history, if not more. The Miditerranean doesn’t even have Great in its name.
- Decrease terrorism in the Middle East while increasing tourism in the Southwest
- The Mormons are seriously so nice they would probably just give the Israelis their homes.
It’s silly to act like there isn’t enough land for everyone when we’re not really using Utah.
storing mormons to unleash them at our enemies is a use
yes but mormons are stackable and don’t take up a lot of space in our inventory
don’t you know what mormons do when you stack them? you better not jostle the pile or you’ll have a bunch of new ones.
You can’t just float an actual viable solution as a shitpost.
It would be perfect for them. We have so much empty space because we already finished our genocide!
Didn’t Sheldon propose this in an episode of TBBT?
lmao did he?
I’ve only seen a handful of episodes. No original ideas anymore, I guess.
Oh yeah, great idea. How are you going to stop them from “settling” in Colorado?
How did you miss the Great Salt Lake / Dead Sea parallels???
am idiot
With the news of Utah planning to replace doctors with AI I feel Israelis and their LLM infrastructure would be more than welcome there.
Thos could prove to be a final solution to the mormon problem…
My ex-Mormon ass, cackling at how fitting this would be. Mormons are such Zion-boos, they even name their landmarks the same.
Of course, I think that the Dine-Bikeyah and their relations would be pretty pissed at dealing with even more violent colonizers showing up on their doorstep.
There shoudnt be an israel anywhere. No one “deserves” to supplant a population and take their land. Zionists have no legitimate claim on anyone or anywhere. They should be treated like the racist murderers they are, and they should live quietly in fear of being discovered as monsters.
Here!? This is where you want to rest!? This is the single most dangerous place you could be situated! There are so many other places you could be, Israel, that would be safer and would cause less problems! Why here!?
Israel shouldn’t have to leave! Everyone else should have to leave! They’re the ones who are stupid!
Fr though, they’re there to act as the West’s forward base to advance into the rest of the Middle East, the US’s unsinkable aircraft carrier. If Israel did not exist, the United States would have to invent an Israel, to protect her interests in the region.
Brigham Young was right all along about “Zion”. 😂
They’d also get access to those sweet AI doctors.
yeah i agree. only issue that i could see is that it costs money to move.
Even the most brutally militaristic occupiers and genociders should feel right at home. US does their war crimes in other countries, just like Israel
