• altphoto@lemmy.today
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    17 hours ago

    Let’s objectify. Men are ugly so the pornographic world zooms onto their penis or sexual organ worthy of mention for to the girth or veininess or length or size.

    Women on the other-hand are beautiful enough for jealousy of all kinds to happen between people who have only ever seen them. I for one would jump at the opportunity to be her in this photo for a few hours. She gets to be herself her entire life! Imagine that! Imagine someone wanting to be you at all. But then imagine every living guy wanting to do you. There are limits to what would be a gift vs a curse. Maybe marketing your body like this is not the worse idea. So long as it is your choice to do so, that’s freedom at its core.

    • LycanGalen@lemmy.world
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      3 hours ago

      The majority of porn is created for straight men. North American men, where the majority of the commercial porn industry operates, are socialised to think that finding another man attractive = gay, and gay = emasculating/bad (I don’t agree, that’s just the messaging). So the fact that porn only shows a man’s genitals serves 2 purposes: it helps maintain the “no homo” mentality, while also allowing the viewer to insert themselves into the scene. That’s now their big, veiny penis and huge cum shot. It has nothing to do with the attractiveness of men (though the statement “men are ugly” is a part of the larger problem in how our societies are socialised around gender)

      Beauty is a series of social expectations. By Eurocentric standards, in the 1800s a beautiful woman was fat. In the 2000s she was athletic, today, she is gaunt with a distinct lack of fat in her face. Nothing we see in photographs is “natural” beauty. Even this one - that woman is working. Her job is dependant on selling a sexual narrative to her customers. What you see isn’t so much “herself” as a product she has assembled with makeup and clothing in order to do her job. You are fantasising about the opportunity to be the fantasy she is selling. Not to actually be her. We don’t know what her real life is like.

      • altphoto@lemmy.today
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        3 hours ago

        Imagine how it would be to be her for a day. Like what’s important to you is probably completely different from her perspective. Yet the question remains… Why does she choose to sell her body/image? Does she think the she has nothing else to offer? I bet there’s much more than what we see.

        • LycanGalen@lemmy.world
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          3 hours ago

          The last sentence in my reply was “we don’t know what her real life is like” you’re parroting that back at me, but trying to speculate on what her life is like at the same time. We don’t know. We can’t know.

          If you really want to know what it’s like to be a woman, maybe ask a few to go for coffee and actually listen to what they have to say. They’re not these mystical creatures you are making them out to be. If you are transfemme, or a CD, that’s great. And it’s still not OK to find your own gender by compounding the stereotypes.

          • Axolotl@feddit.it
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            2 hours ago

            And it’s still not OK to find your own gender by compounding the stereotypes

            Someone may like the stereotypes on themselves and it’s okay tbh, i see nothing wrong with it, the problem occour when they actively promote it and force it on others.

            • LycanGalen@lemmy.world
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              17 minutes ago

              Absolutely. Though I personally feel that if we’re choosing to perpetuate the stereotype by adopting it, we need to take the time to educate ourselves on what power that stereotype has, not to mention unpacking why we’re attracted to it: are we healing, or reopening a wound?

              Opting in to a stereotype means we can opt out, and that also means we may not be fully burdened by the harm that stereotype can do. Depending on the stereotype, we can inadvertently distress or reproduce harmful scenarios for people who do not have the option to opt out.

              I’m not responsible for where other people’s toes are on a dance floor. I am responsible for whether I’m wearing sneakers or boots, and adjusting my step if I see toes where I’m about to dance.

              (Edited to fix punctuation)

        • velma@sh.itjust.works
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          3 hours ago

          We can’t humanize this woman in this community lest you gain the ire of all the men who want to laugh about women with daddy issues.

    • CyberTheProtogen@lemmy.zip
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      3 hours ago

      Arguments like these are a major reason why there are still a lot of sexist young men. They say people are sexist because of insecurity but it’s people exactly like you who make others insecure. You may not be the whole problem, but you are in fact a majority of it.

      I have seen so many people who love and even lust over men because of other body parts than the dick. In fact, in those pictures, the dick is not even visible.

      Evidentially, your argument is an invalid, sweeping generalization targeted specifically to make people feel like shit for things they can’t even really control. You are arguing for the sake of making people feel like shit and thus your argument is invalid from the basis of its very intentions.

    • Allero@lemmy.today
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      5 hours ago

      To be fair, and, like, a heterosexual man in me would love to agree with you, men are different, and so are women.

      Big part of why women often appear more attractive is because culture puts more pressure on women to take very good care of their looks. When men do the same, they can look very nice and attractive.

      Besides, look an antique history and its medieval and modern heritage. Men can absolutely symbolize beauty.

      • CyberTheProtogen@lemmy.zip
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        3 hours ago

        Hell, makeup and high heels and stockings and almost everything else women see as pretty and feminine were originally made by and for men.