The majority of porn is created for straight men. North American men, where the majority of the commercial porn industry operates, are socialised to think that finding another man attractive = gay, and gay = emasculating/bad (I don’t agree, that’s just the messaging). So the fact that porn only shows a man’s genitals serves 2 purposes: it helps maintain the “no homo” mentality, while also allowing the viewer to insert themselves into the scene. That’s now their big, veiny penis and huge cum shot. It has nothing to do with the attractiveness of men (though the statement “men are ugly” is a part of the larger problem in how our societies are socialised around gender)
Beauty is a series of social expectations. By Eurocentric standards, in the 1800s a beautiful woman was fat. In the 2000s she was athletic, today, she is gaunt with a distinct lack of fat in her face.
Nothing we see in photographs is “natural” beauty. Even this one - that woman is working. Her job is dependant on selling a sexual narrative to her customers. What you see isn’t so much “herself” as a product she has assembled with makeup and clothing in order to do her job. You are fantasising about the opportunity to be the fantasy she is selling. Not to actually be her. We don’t know what her real life is like.
Imagine how it would be to be her for a day. Like what’s important to you is probably completely different from her perspective. Yet the question remains… Why does she choose to sell her body/image? Does she think the she has nothing else to offer? I bet there’s much more than what we see.
The last sentence in my reply was “we don’t know what her real life is like” you’re parroting that back at me, but trying to speculate on what her life is like at the same time. We don’t know. We can’t know.
If you really want to know what it’s like to be a woman, maybe ask a few to go for coffee and actually listen to what they have to say. They’re not these mystical creatures you are making them out to be. If you are transfemme, or a CD, that’s great. And it’s still not OK to find your own gender by compounding the stereotypes.
And it’s still not OK to find your own gender by compounding the stereotypes
Someone may like the stereotypes on themselves and it’s okay tbh, i see nothing wrong with it, the problem occour when they actively promote it and force it on others.
Absolutely. Though I personally feel that if we’re choosing to perpetuate the stereotype by adopting it, we need to take the time to educate ourselves on what power that stereotype has, not to mention unpacking why we’re attracted to it: are we healing, or reopening a wound?
Opting in to a stereotype means we can opt out, and that also means we may not be fully burdened by the harm that stereotype can do. Depending on the stereotype, we can inadvertently distress or reproduce harmful scenarios for people who do not have the option to opt out.
I’m not responsible for where other people’s toes are on a dance floor. I am responsible for whether I’m wearing sneakers or boots, and adjusting my step if I see toes where I’m about to dance.
The majority of porn is created for straight men. North American men, where the majority of the commercial porn industry operates, are socialised to think that finding another man attractive = gay, and gay = emasculating/bad (I don’t agree, that’s just the messaging). So the fact that porn only shows a man’s genitals serves 2 purposes: it helps maintain the “no homo” mentality, while also allowing the viewer to insert themselves into the scene. That’s now their big, veiny penis and huge cum shot. It has nothing to do with the attractiveness of men (though the statement “men are ugly” is a part of the larger problem in how our societies are socialised around gender)
Beauty is a series of social expectations. By Eurocentric standards, in the 1800s a beautiful woman was fat. In the 2000s she was athletic, today, she is gaunt with a distinct lack of fat in her face. Nothing we see in photographs is “natural” beauty. Even this one - that woman is working. Her job is dependant on selling a sexual narrative to her customers. What you see isn’t so much “herself” as a product she has assembled with makeup and clothing in order to do her job. You are fantasising about the opportunity to be the fantasy she is selling. Not to actually be her. We don’t know what her real life is like.
Imagine how it would be to be her for a day. Like what’s important to you is probably completely different from her perspective. Yet the question remains… Why does she choose to sell her body/image? Does she think the she has nothing else to offer? I bet there’s much more than what we see.
The last sentence in my reply was “we don’t know what her real life is like” you’re parroting that back at me, but trying to speculate on what her life is like at the same time. We don’t know. We can’t know.
If you really want to know what it’s like to be a woman, maybe ask a few to go for coffee and actually listen to what they have to say. They’re not these mystical creatures you are making them out to be. If you are transfemme, or a CD, that’s great. And it’s still not OK to find your own gender by compounding the stereotypes.
Someone may like the stereotypes on themselves and it’s okay tbh, i see nothing wrong with it, the problem occour when they actively promote it and force it on others.
Absolutely. Though I personally feel that if we’re choosing to perpetuate the stereotype by adopting it, we need to take the time to educate ourselves on what power that stereotype has, not to mention unpacking why we’re attracted to it: are we healing, or reopening a wound?
Opting in to a stereotype means we can opt out, and that also means we may not be fully burdened by the harm that stereotype can do. Depending on the stereotype, we can inadvertently distress or reproduce harmful scenarios for people who do not have the option to opt out.
I’m not responsible for where other people’s toes are on a dance floor. I am responsible for whether I’m wearing sneakers or boots, and adjusting my step if I see toes where I’m about to dance.
(Edited to fix punctuation)
I don’t think they were arguing with you, but rather expanding on your comment.
We can’t humanize this woman in this community lest you gain the ire of all the men who want to laugh about women with daddy issues.