I get called sexist for this, but I think this is basically the reason catfish scams work so easily on older women. When a man comes out of nowhere acting interested in you its just normal. Been a bit rare lately, but it doesnt immediately invoke suspicion.
When i get a message on any platform from a woman, especially unprompted, I immediately ignore it. So often now to the point that they’re as invisible as popup ads.
Yeah, I’ve got a pretty good idea of when someone is completely out of my league, and when I get contacted out of the blue like that, I’m immediately suspicious.
I found the number of women that would actually send a message was perhaps one in ten. A chunk would just let the match expire, the others would send either one of the Gif options, or “hey”.
Half of them had an identical account on Tinder anyway.
Yeah I get that. A lot of (male) matches on bumble didn’t engage with me either after I sent a message. I’m not a wordsmith by any means but I always tried to mention something I saw in their profile and ask a question. I figured if anything it showed a bit of effort as a minimum. Never tried tinder.
Interesting that men are pretty bad as well, I had a similar approach to you, try and mention something in their profile. It’s part of the reason I think Hinge is the best of the apps right now.
I treated internet dating as a numbers game. Hard to get too upset about someone initially just not responding. It would feel more personal to me when we would be talking for a bit and they would just ghost. Your comparison is fair, people put varying levels of effort into their relationships in general.
Look at it from the other side: it worked for people who wanted the kind of relationship where women aren’t the ones being chased and set a more even ground.
The problem is that it is a for profit business and the proportion of such relationship seekers is small. More women just like being chased… Bumbe is still around, they didn’t fail, but they had to let this model go, because they wanted more profit.
It’s because they’re not used to doing any work whatsoever.
Seriously, the reason bumble failed was women simply will not send a message.
I get called sexist for this, but I think this is basically the reason catfish scams work so easily on older women. When a man comes out of nowhere acting interested in you its just normal. Been a bit rare lately, but it doesnt immediately invoke suspicion.
When i get a message on any platform from a woman, especially unprompted, I immediately ignore it. So often now to the point that they’re as invisible as popup ads.
Yeah, I’ve got a pretty good idea of when someone is completely out of my league, and when I get contacted out of the blue like that, I’m immediately suspicious.
It worked for me :) Found my awesome husband there. Agreed though, there are definitely women who expect to be pursued.
I found the number of women that would actually send a message was perhaps one in ten. A chunk would just let the match expire, the others would send either one of the Gif options, or “hey”.
Half of them had an identical account on Tinder anyway.
Yeah I get that. A lot of (male) matches on bumble didn’t engage with me either after I sent a message. I’m not a wordsmith by any means but I always tried to mention something I saw in their profile and ask a question. I figured if anything it showed a bit of effort as a minimum. Never tried tinder.
Interesting that men are pretty bad as well, I had a similar approach to you, try and mention something in their profile. It’s part of the reason I think Hinge is the best of the apps right now.
I haven’t been dating online since 2021 so I can’t really comment on the current scene . I hope it treats you well!
People are THAT bad?
I put more effort in a new friend.
And I am like, disabled.
Yeah, it’s pretty grim.
I treated internet dating as a numbers game. Hard to get too upset about someone initially just not responding. It would feel more personal to me when we would be talking for a bit and they would just ghost. Your comparison is fair, people put varying levels of effort into their relationships in general.
That worked for me on ICQ, 24 years ago.
Worked for me, too! Though, my (now) wife had paid for the subscription so she had bonus features.
I bet she still has bonus features!
Look at it from the other side: it worked for people who wanted the kind of relationship where women aren’t the ones being chased and set a more even ground.
The problem is that it is a for profit business and the proportion of such relationship seekers is small. More women just like being chased… Bumbe is still around, they didn’t fail, but they had to let this model go, because they wanted more profit.
Out of curiosity, what do you mean with failed? Isn’t it around and kicking?
Iirc they removed the “women have to message first” requirement some time last month.
It’s around, but I don’t think the number of users is anything to brag about.
4 comments to misogyny, y’all giving reddit a run for their money.