• Gonzako@lemmy.world
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    1 hour ago

    Maybe it did pass me by lol. I grew up a father orphan and my mother once I turned old enough to discuss it made no expense in telling me how much she loved my father.

    I did have a partner that didn’t know how to masturbate but she thoroughly enjoyed our scenes.

    • velma@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      1 hour ago

      Yeah women resort to offering sex to their partners as rewards or to persuade them to be better partners because it’s often one of the only leverages we have inside of marriage. It’s unhealthy and it’s getting better with stronger women’s rights, but it makes sense how it happens within the framework of our society.

      • Gonzako@lemmy.world
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        1 hour ago

        Yeah, this is a dynamic that I don’t think has happened on my relationships. i’ve done changes to accommodate my exes but i’ve never felt sex was used as leverage.

        • velma@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          1 hour ago

          When I was much younger, I definitely would give in to other’s wants more easily than I do now and, looking back, I’m aware it was an effort to appease them more than making myself happy. They didn’t do anything wrong and neither did I, but if I could go back in time and say “No” instead, I would.

          Relationships live in a lot of grey areas. That’s great that your relationships have been on equal footing in this regard :)

          • Gonzako@lemmy.world
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            44 minutes ago

            Now that you word it like that I can defo see situations wheres this dynamic might have played from her side. But that’s what failed loves are also for, learning yourself.