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ComradeSharkfucker@lemmy.ml to Memes@lemmy.mlEnglish · 3 个月前

shit on their dime comrades

lemmy.ml

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shit on their dime comrades

lemmy.ml

ComradeSharkfucker@lemmy.ml to Memes@lemmy.mlEnglish · 3 个月前
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  • Apocalypteroid@anarchist.nexus
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    3 个月前

    A paid poop is one of life’s simple pleasures

    • turtlesareneat@piefed.ca
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      3 个月前

      Honestly a heated bidet is better. Now I’m not saying give up bathroom breaks - smoke a J in there, or go wander in a park for a while. But my bunghole only appears when there’s an oscillating jet of 100* water ready to blast it spotless.

    • billwashere@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      3 个月前

      Not as big of a deal when your salary.

      Except pooping at work means less people and animals to come talk to me when I’m doing it.

      • Goferking0@ttrpg.network
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        3 个月前

        Even when on salary pooping on company time is amazing

  • ORbituary@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    3 个月前

    Why do people censor things?!

    • slacktoid@lemmy.ml
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      3 个月前

      Because the people who tell you to censor things are fucking annoying.

      • SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world
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        3 个月前

        Can you edit out the fuck in your comment it sounds really aggressive.

        • slacktoid@lemmy.ml
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          3 个月前

          Only if you can fucking edit the fuck out of yours /s

          • SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world
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            3 个月前

            Don’t tell me what to do.

            • slacktoid@lemmy.ml
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              3 个月前

              Only if you don’t.

        • daggermoon@piefed.world
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          3 个月前

          I know you’re being sarcastic but it’s hilarious coming from someone with your username. Big fan of yours btw.

    • axx@slrpnk.net
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      3 个月前

      What i want to know is what he person who put a line through the word shit here thought they were achieving?

      It’s so entirely transparent and useless, what’s going through that person’s head?

    • TwistedTurtle@sh.itjust.works
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      3 个月前

      Seriously, it’s really pissing me off. Corporations already have way too much influence over tech and culture, why are we surrending more ground and self-censoring to appease them. These people need to find some self-respect and stop kowtowing to the algorithms.

  • kambusha@sh.itjust.works
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    3 个月前

    How does it go? The boss gets a dollar, I get a dime. That’s why I shit on company’s time.

  • orca@orcas.enjoying.yachts
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    3 个月前

    I work from home, mothafucka.

    Jim Carrey as The Mask saying ‘somebody stop me!’ to himself in the bathroom mirror

  • Modest_Toxic@feddit.uk
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    3 个月前

    I used to work with someone who went for a shit 10 minutes into starting work. Took a full hour in the toliet. Then later would have his lunch for 30 minutes then go for another hour long shit

    • j5y7@sh.itjust.works
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      3 个月前

      That’s efficient compared to the people I worked with. Next you’ll tell me they didn’t leave shit stains on the toilet seat.

      • Modest_Toxic@feddit.uk
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        3 个月前

        No shit stains luckily. He did get promoted over me though as “he brought more knowledge to the team”. It wasn’t long after that I looked for a new job

  • misterfenskers@sh.itjust.works
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    3 个月前

    Shit your pants and go home early

  • Carl [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    3 个月前

    doggirl-lol that stock photo on the right

  • downvote_hunter@midwest.social
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    3 个月前

    Lady shit her panties or something? Who rubs the butt like that when they have to poop? I’m tightening the cheeks when I gotta do number two

    • Squidious@lemmy.ml
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      3 个月前

      She waited too long, and now she is doing the duck walk of shame keeping it from touching cloth.

    • ThePantser@sh.itjust.works
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      3 个月前

      Prairie dogging on an inflamed hemorrhoid.

    • ClassIsOver [none/use name, any]@hexbear.net
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      3 个月前

      'rhoid rage.

    • AntiOutsideAktion [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      3 个月前

      Oh no poop is coming out of my hip!!

    • Gates9@sh.itjust.works
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      I’m certain this photo was intended to convey back pain

  • LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins [none/use name, any]@hexbear.net
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    3 个月前

    Every “oh yeah just poop on company time” motherfucker just casually bragging about their platinum laced anus that can withstand being sandpapered to death by the world’s cheapest toilet paper (which should be banned btw)

    • slacktoid@lemmy.ml
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      3 个月前

      Bring your own toilet paper. You’ll still make a profit

      • LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins [none/use name, any]@hexbear.net
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        3 个月前

        Im cool but i’m not so cool i can ignore hushed whispers of “that’s the guy… yea, brings his own tp, yea, weird shit”

        • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          3 个月前

          I’ve brought my own TP for when I have to go into the office for… forever. If I can’t be home with my bidet, I’m already in nightmare shit land. Might as well have some small comfort in my soft paper with the wavy tear lines…

          • LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins [none/use name, any]@hexbear.net
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            3 个月前

            well, nobody says shit about you, you’re cool

            • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              3 个月前

              Likewise, you’d be fine to indulge in the niceties of the shittiverse!

        • ZWQbpkzl [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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          3 个月前

          Bring a whole fresh pack of the good stuff to work and stock all the toilets. Do it once but never again.

        • slacktoid@lemmy.ml
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          3 个月前

          Fair nuff. Sounds like a personal battle!

          • LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins [none/use name, any]@hexbear.net
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            3 个月前

            every battle is a personal battle in a way, even a real battle, like, personally i wouldn’t be there

            • slacktoid@lemmy.ml
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              3 个月前

              Lmao! I hope you have a good day

      • Johnny_Arson [she/her]@hexbear.net
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        3 个月前

        As I said in my other comment, my office actually stocks us with good enough tp I steal some almost every day for home. Haven’t paid for shit tape in almost a year now.

        • slacktoid@lemmy.ml
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          3 个月前

          I’m personally not a fan of TP, it’s anti human as it creates a pay to poop system. After the revolution everyone will have a bidet. We will not subject ourselves to poopy butts, anymore!

    • SpacePanda@mander.xyz
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      3 个月前

      I bring wet wipes to work.

  • ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works
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    3 个月前

    Back when I worked for a health department there was pretty good evidence that people mostly shit at work.

    I came across this evidence when inspecting homeless encampments which was also when I came to learn most of them fucking had jobs.

    Then covid came around and all the remote workers started blowing up their septic systems because they’d never been used so much and during the daytime.

    The sanitary overlap between tent cities and fancy farmhouses is much larger than you’d expect.

    • boonhet@sopuli.xyz
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      Back when I worked for a health department there was pretty good evidence that people mostly shit at work.

      I mean it’s where people spend a significant amount of their awake time and plenty of people start the workday at the coffee machine, with coffee being a notorious poop accelerant.

  • Squidious@lemmy.ml
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    3 个月前

    Walk to the farthest toilet in the facility that you can. Preferably the one near HR or upper management.

  • Zerush@lemmy.ml
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    3 个月前

    Not longer my problem

  • Canonical_Warlock@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    3 个月前

    *shit

  • 9488fcea02a9@sh.itjust.works
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    3 个月前

    I poop twice a day at the office

    • Signtist@bookwyr.me
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      3 个月前

      I’ll poop at the beginning of the shift and “poop” toward the end when I want to chill undisturbed on my phone for a bit.

  • yellowfattybean [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    3 个月前

    After 10 years of employment robbing me of autonomy over my bodily processes due to “the rush” and “the bell schedule”, I now get to poop when I need to. I’m with comrade leeroy, though. If I go more than once a day, I’m chafing and itching the rest of the day cuz of the barbaric paper they expect us to use

    • Johnny_Arson [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      My work actually has pretty nice tp. In fact I steal some every day before I clock out. Haven’t bought a roll in almost a year lmao.

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