Here the thing. You ever looked into a giraffe’s eyes? There’s nothing there, they’re mentally vacant. They make deer look like they read the New Yorker. They fight with their necks, which is dumb, but it’s even dumber that their evolutionary gambit worked at all. You wanted to eat the leaves, you got tall. Your medals are in the mail, giraffes. Gold medals with sarcastically long neck ribbons. It makes me sick. They’re no better than camels, and don’t get me started about those filthy bastards.
Come on, have you seen them? I could name three thing to do with their mouths alone that serve as proof that God doesn’t exist. Go watch a video of camel mouth bubbles and tell me I’m wrong, and keep in mind this is a creature that will spit on you.
My wife and I frequently bond over a mutual hatred of giraffes. I think this meme just got me laid tonight
I’m glad you two monsters found each other. I hope your kids grow up to love giraffes.
The family that hates together ungulates together!
All ungulates? What about the tasty ones?
Well no, just mainly giraffes. I was hoping that the rhyme would have been funny and distracting enough that I didn’t have to explain.
do you pronounce penelope like antelope?
I don’t think I’ve ever said the name Penelope out loud in my life, come to think of it. I guess we’ll never know
So why do you two hate giraffes?
Here the thing. You ever looked into a giraffe’s eyes? There’s nothing there, they’re mentally vacant. They make deer look like they read the New Yorker. They fight with their necks, which is dumb, but it’s even dumber that their evolutionary gambit worked at all. You wanted to eat the leaves, you got tall. Your medals are in the mail, giraffes. Gold medals with sarcastically long neck ribbons. It makes me sick. They’re no better than camels, and don’t get me started about those filthy bastards.
Well no, now we’re interested and you need to elaborate on the camels.
Come on, have you seen them? I could name three thing to do with their mouths alone that serve as proof that God doesn’t exist. Go watch a video of camel mouth bubbles and tell me I’m wrong, and keep in mind this is a creature that will spit on you.
Stupid long horses. /ref