• tias@discuss.tchncs.de
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    10
    ·
    1 day ago

    I genuinely wonder what that’s about. Why is it so much of a sacrifice, why is it any different from giving a back rub (assuming you have good hygiene). I certainly am not bothered by going down on her - on the contrary.

    • Signtist@bookwyr.me
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      24
      ·
      1 day ago

      From what I understand, her previous relationships had all been transactional, where the guy made her feel like she owed him for every nice thing he did. She’s still working on allowing herself to receive without feeling a sense of debt.

      • tias@discuss.tchncs.de
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        12
        ·
        edit-2
        1 day ago

        I’ve dated quite a few women and had a couple of long-term relationships. They all seem reluctant to give a blowjob - it happens but rarely. I’ve never pushed it, only shown in every way I can how much I enjoy it when it does happen. My current domestic partner does it, but I probably go down on her 10-20x more often than she does me.

        But it’s also kind of a general pattern that they expect me to take the initiative in sex, and they are relatively passive. One hypothesis I have is that taking too much initiative makes them feel “slutty” or that their own desirability is not confirmed enough. Maybe this is just a part of that general pattern. But what do I know.