There is a correct and good community building way to address this issue, and there is a “Gotcha, fucker! you made a mistake in your words, I’m gonna yell at you on the internet!” way of dealing with this issue.
The correct way would be to privately message the person and say, “Hey, please don’t use that kind of language, it is offensive”
They might have gone back and edited it.
I feel like people have forgotten the concept of face, since the internet is anonymous, and a lot of flame wars happen because people do not consider each other’s faces when they are talking to each other.
So if you really consider the impact of derailing a conversation about how Republicans and Trump supporters and fascist pedophiles are destroying the entire world and making everyone on the planet miserable to say, “Hey, you used a word that is offensive to people with mental difficulties”, then I would say that you were in the wrong for addressing your concern in the way that you did, not that your concern itself was wrong.
Or you call them out in public because discretion just lets things fester. Shame me when I do shameful things, I beg you. Shit like this is how the Overton Window moves. Having basic standards in ones community, however it manifests, is not a bad thing. It signals to others that this behavior is not acceptable instead of quietly letting it slide and implying that it is OK by silence.
And it isn’t a hard standard. It’s not asking a lot. Don’t use slurs. We generally understand that with race. We mostly understand that with sex and gender. So disability gets a pass? Fuck that. Tear me down if I’m so casually cruel. If you can’t have the creativity to have a decent insult that doesn’t involve shaming the disabled, then call them (the republicans not the disabled) assholes and move on. Don’t use the slurs of the morally repugnant.
If you want to have that debate, then you have to address the concept of insults themselves.
It is the soul of irony to suggest there is a specific line that you’re not allowed to cross when you’re being offensive, when insults themselves are meant to be offensive.
You can find a bone to pick with any insult. You can’t call someone an asshole because there is a significant portion of the population who have either been congenitally born without assholes or who have lost theirs and are using a colostomy bag. And every time the word asshole pops up in their radar, they’re reminded of their plight and it is trauma-reinducing.
Calling someone a fucker is potentially trauma-inducing to people who have lost their genitals or been surgically mutilated and are unable to enjoy any pleasure from sex or possibly unable to have sex itself.
And I get that people who have experienced difficulties are different from people who are born with difficulties, but both of those groups are forced to live with things that they simply cannot do anything about. When they encounter aggressive language all they can do is take it.
I still think you are correct that we shouldn’t use the r-slur, but we also shouldn’t really tone police one another in public when the only method available to do so is to detract from a much more important conversation.
After all, the only way we’re ever going to get to a world where the largest concern we have is the Emotional Impact of what words we use when we are angry and frustrated is to deal with the actual world in front of us, where people are murdering and killing people for being born different.
First and most important: we’re in a shitposting community. This is not some stage where the conversation needs a focus. This is THE place to call people out casually. It’s a damned free for all for better and worse. I’d honestly be more OK with your argument if this happened elsewhere. I’d still disagree, being polite and ignoring people being shitty in public should be called out more, to hell with face. Holding people to basic standards should be the norm and doing so where others can see shows those that might be hurt that people don’t agree. But elsewhere, I’d consider removing my post or some such.
You’re right. Most insults have someone who may be hurt who doesn’t deserve it. I’ve honestly had that thought bouncing around my head for the past hour or so. And I don’t have a good answer other than calling them things are/should be universally reviled. Work in progress. Immoral shitstain has a decent ring and I suspect there isn’t anyone that identifies with profound uncleanliness. The ideal would be to specifically insult based on bad behavior, but damn that’s tough on the fly and very context dependent.
It should be noted, and you did somewhat, that calling someone and asshole or fucker doesn’t have a storied history of being a slur. I’m no philosopher or even terribly good debater to specifically define the line, but ‘old slurs that came back because awful people started using them again’ feels like an easy win. We gave that word up a long ass time ago, let it stay dead instead of emulating these people we claim to loathe.
There is a correct and good community building way to address this issue, and there is a “Gotcha, fucker! you made a mistake in your words, I’m gonna yell at you on the internet!” way of dealing with this issue.
The correct way would be to privately message the person and say, “Hey, please don’t use that kind of language, it is offensive”
They might have gone back and edited it.
I feel like people have forgotten the concept of face, since the internet is anonymous, and a lot of flame wars happen because people do not consider each other’s faces when they are talking to each other.
So if you really consider the impact of derailing a conversation about how Republicans and Trump supporters and fascist pedophiles are destroying the entire world and making everyone on the planet miserable to say, “Hey, you used a word that is offensive to people with mental difficulties”, then I would say that you were in the wrong for addressing your concern in the way that you did, not that your concern itself was wrong.
Or you call them out in public because discretion just lets things fester. Shame me when I do shameful things, I beg you. Shit like this is how the Overton Window moves. Having basic standards in ones community, however it manifests, is not a bad thing. It signals to others that this behavior is not acceptable instead of quietly letting it slide and implying that it is OK by silence.
And it isn’t a hard standard. It’s not asking a lot. Don’t use slurs. We generally understand that with race. We mostly understand that with sex and gender. So disability gets a pass? Fuck that. Tear me down if I’m so casually cruel. If you can’t have the creativity to have a decent insult that doesn’t involve shaming the disabled, then call them (the republicans not the disabled) assholes and move on. Don’t use the slurs of the morally repugnant.
If you want to have that debate, then you have to address the concept of insults themselves.
It is the soul of irony to suggest there is a specific line that you’re not allowed to cross when you’re being offensive, when insults themselves are meant to be offensive.
You can find a bone to pick with any insult. You can’t call someone an asshole because there is a significant portion of the population who have either been congenitally born without assholes or who have lost theirs and are using a colostomy bag. And every time the word asshole pops up in their radar, they’re reminded of their plight and it is trauma-reinducing.
Calling someone a fucker is potentially trauma-inducing to people who have lost their genitals or been surgically mutilated and are unable to enjoy any pleasure from sex or possibly unable to have sex itself.
And I get that people who have experienced difficulties are different from people who are born with difficulties, but both of those groups are forced to live with things that they simply cannot do anything about. When they encounter aggressive language all they can do is take it.
I still think you are correct that we shouldn’t use the r-slur, but we also shouldn’t really tone police one another in public when the only method available to do so is to detract from a much more important conversation.
After all, the only way we’re ever going to get to a world where the largest concern we have is the Emotional Impact of what words we use when we are angry and frustrated is to deal with the actual world in front of us, where people are murdering and killing people for being born different.
First and most important: we’re in a shitposting community. This is not some stage where the conversation needs a focus. This is THE place to call people out casually. It’s a damned free for all for better and worse. I’d honestly be more OK with your argument if this happened elsewhere. I’d still disagree, being polite and ignoring people being shitty in public should be called out more, to hell with face. Holding people to basic standards should be the norm and doing so where others can see shows those that might be hurt that people don’t agree. But elsewhere, I’d consider removing my post or some such.
You’re right. Most insults have someone who may be hurt who doesn’t deserve it. I’ve honestly had that thought bouncing around my head for the past hour or so. And I don’t have a good answer other than calling them things are/should be universally reviled. Work in progress. Immoral shitstain has a decent ring and I suspect there isn’t anyone that identifies with profound uncleanliness. The ideal would be to specifically insult based on bad behavior, but damn that’s tough on the fly and very context dependent.
It should be noted, and you did somewhat, that calling someone and asshole or fucker doesn’t have a storied history of being a slur. I’m no philosopher or even terribly good debater to specifically define the line, but ‘old slurs that came back because awful people started using them again’ feels like an easy win. We gave that word up a long ass time ago, let it stay dead instead of emulating these people we claim to loathe.
Nah, I wouldn’t have. It’s pearl clutching.