The Wall People: [whispering loudly in chorus]: “We crave incarnation. Give us your fleshshsh that we may return to the world of humansssss.”
Me: “Well, that’s not going to happen. You wanna watch some trash TV? I’ve seen you watching over my shoulder.”
The Wall People: “Fleshshsh…fleshshsh, fleshshsh…”
Me: “Alright, alright! I could invite Randy over. He’s been lonely for a while and might enjoy the company of having some psychospiritual roommates in his head.”
The Wall People: "Raaaaandyyyy? The one who “saves it for later” when he gets nachos stuck in his beard and says “females have unreasonably high standards for men. That Raaaandyyy?”
Me: “Yeah, maybe you can help him see things differently and, y’know, makes some changes.”
The Wall People: “sssssssss…”
Me: "Yes?
The Wall people: “…ssssset Hulu to play the Secret Lives of Mormon Houswives.”
Me: “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
[Later]
The Wall People: “Whhhhyyyyy do Jessi and Whitney remain friends after publicly accusing each other?”
Me: [through a mouthful of potato chips]: “I don’t know, but if someone accused me of being a manipulator, I would not hang out with them.”
The Wall People: “Manipulator? The other one betrayed her trusssssst!”
Me: “Look, I’m not taking sides here. You can’t take this stuff too seriously. It’s not functionally real for us, if it’s even objectively real at all. If you can’t handle that, we can always switch over to Bluey, Paw Patrol, or PBS Kids.”
The Wall People: “Fffffiiine. I am calm nowwwww. Paaaaassss the chipssss.”
Me: “That’s a good legion of wall-dwelling, disembodied spirits.”
The Wall People: [whispering loudly in chorus]: “We crave incarnation. Give us your fleshshsh that we may return to the world of humansssss.”
Me: “Well, that’s not going to happen. You wanna watch some trash TV? I’ve seen you watching over my shoulder.”
The Wall People: “Fleshshsh…fleshshsh, fleshshsh…”
Me: “Alright, alright! I could invite Randy over. He’s been lonely for a while and might enjoy the company of having some psychospiritual roommates in his head.”
The Wall People: "Raaaaandyyyy? The one who “saves it for later” when he gets nachos stuck in his beard and says “females have unreasonably high standards for men. That Raaaandyyy?”
Me: “Yeah, maybe you can help him see things differently and, y’know, makes some changes.”
The Wall People: “sssssssss…”
Me: "Yes?
The Wall people: “…ssssset Hulu to play the Secret Lives of Mormon Houswives.”
Me: “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
[Later]
The Wall People: “Whhhhyyyyy do Jessi and Whitney remain friends after publicly accusing each other?”
Me: [through a mouthful of potato chips]: “I don’t know, but if someone accused me of being a manipulator, I would not hang out with them.”
The Wall People: “Manipulator? The other one betrayed her trusssssst!”
Me: “Look, I’m not taking sides here. You can’t take this stuff too seriously. It’s not functionally real for us, if it’s even objectively real at all. If you can’t handle that, we can always switch over to Bluey, Paw Patrol, or PBS Kids.”
The Wall People: “Fffffiiine. I am calm nowwwww. Paaaaassss the chipssss.”
Me: “That’s a good legion of wall-dwelling, disembodied spirits.”
The Wall People: [Crunching noises]