How will i appeal to a universal authority figure for my sense of self so i can be both completely arrogant and completely self loathing at the same time?
How will i justify literally anything i want?
How would i maintain my philosophically protected ‘terminate’ button for every scary thought?
How would i exaggerate my daddy issues abd literally go to war about them!?
Sorry, no, i would rather not live in your nightmare world. Therefore god, exactly the god i want, exists!
Wait, so you’re telling me that if I pretend to believe in an imaginary being, I can feel special?
It sounds tempting. Can I also attack anyone personally if they question my belief as if they’ve attacked me as a person?
And I also always really wanted to tell people that they hate god, even though they say he doesn’t even exist. I’m sure this somehow violates every law of logic in existence, but I really want to.
Can I justify killing people for believing in the same god as me but slightly different?
Also, well, this one is a bit odd: I have this urge to tell people who they are allowed to have sex with. If your belief allows me to do all this, I’m on board.
My God (I shall use upper case for Him from now on because that somehow makes Him seem more imposing) says all I have to do is find something in the scriptures that I can somehow reinterpret to mean exactly what I need to justify any of my arguments.
So, I hereby declare that I can certainly do that, because it says in the holy scriptures: “At least it’s good to be on the winning side.” (Mother Goose & Grimm, April 29, 2001, Panel 4)
Which I interpret to mean that I am right, therefore I have no further obligation to give proper reasons and any arguments against my opinion are completely invalid.
Here’s a crazy idea, hear me out: What if there is no god?
But then how am i special?
How will i appeal to a universal authority figure for my sense of self so i can be both completely arrogant and completely self loathing at the same time?
How will i justify literally anything i want?
How would i maintain my philosophically protected ‘terminate’ button for every scary thought?
How would i exaggerate my daddy issues abd literally go to war about them!?
Sorry, no, i would rather not live in your nightmare world. Therefore god, exactly the god i want, exists!
Wait, so you’re telling me that if I pretend to believe in an imaginary being, I can feel special?
It sounds tempting. Can I also attack anyone personally if they question my belief as if they’ve attacked me as a person?
And I also always really wanted to tell people that they hate god, even though they say he doesn’t even exist. I’m sure this somehow violates every law of logic in existence, but I really want to.
Can I justify killing people for believing in the same god as me but slightly different?
Also, well, this one is a bit odd: I have this urge to tell people who they are allowed to have sex with. If your belief allows me to do all this, I’m on board.
Can you!? No. Now: what do you want your god to say about this? Appeal to a higher authority.
My God (I shall use upper case for Him from now on because that somehow makes Him seem more imposing) says all I have to do is find something in the scriptures that I can somehow reinterpret to mean exactly what I need to justify any of my arguments.
So, I hereby declare that I can certainly do that, because it says in the holy scriptures: “At least it’s good to be on the winning side.” (Mother Goose & Grimm, April 29, 2001, Panel 4)
Which I interpret to mean that I am right, therefore I have no further obligation to give proper reasons and any arguments against my opinion are completely invalid.
Amen, kin of unspecified gender!