• archonet@lemy.lol
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    11 hours ago

    being happy

    I don’t need superpowers, just let me not be depressed while retaining a functioning cock/not feeling numb to the world.

    Alright, fun’s over, let the monkey’s paw curl.

    • Shayeta@feddit.org
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      4 hours ago

      You are incapable of being anything other than extremely happy no matter the circumstances.Having a serious discussion with a loved one? Getting laid off? Funerals?

      You’re happy!

    • then_three_more@lemmy.world
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      10 hours ago

      nausea, diarrhea, indigestion, loss of appetite, increased sweating, shaking or trembling, decreased appetite, inability to ejaculate, and decreased libido.

      Oh and projectile vomiting if you miss a dose, messed up sleep if you take it to late in the day, falling asleep at your desk if you take it too early.

      Brain jolts, anxiety, vomiting when you try to come back off it.

      https://www.nhs.uk/medicines/sertraline/side-effects-of-sertraline/

      • archonet@lemy.lol
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        3 hours ago

        Almost every antidepressant I’ve tried has side effects I don’t like, but especially the way they fuck up your libido is incredibly frustrating to me, and every antidepressant that has had any effect on my mood has also made my dick useless. The only one I’d tried that didn’t was Wellbutrin, and that just didn’t do anything.

        Oh, runners up prize for “worst side effect” goes to Prozac, which made me grind my goddamn teeth unconsciously, in addition to my dick not working. that got seriously painful after a few days.

    • Evil_incarnate@lemm.ee
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      9 hours ago

      You are consistently happy, all the time. People think you are strange for not crying at funerals, but smiling instead. You never feel anything but happy. No envy, no hatred, no love. Just happiness.

      • archonet@lemy.lol
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        3 hours ago

        pfft, people already think I’m weird and inappropriate, I’m on the spectrum. Is that the worst you’ve got?

    • Dagwood222@lemm.ee
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      8 hours ago

      You are now a Golden Lab. Occasionally you remember being human, but then you see a stick you want to play with.

      • archonet@lemy.lol
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        3 hours ago

        so you mean I get to exist as a creature of pure joy that everyone else loves when they see me? And I gain the ability to lick my own balls?

        I’m not sure you understand this whole “monkeys paw” thing.

        • Dagwood222@lemm.ee
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          3 hours ago

          If licking your own balls is what you want, I won’t be the one to try and stop you.