Honestly self-awareness is the first step to change, and what’s painful is you will become aware before you become able to act on self-improvement, but that’s how it works. I also think those who have trouble with relationships imagine that others are always having a great time but that’s certainly not the case. Prove to yourself that you’re better than you perceive yourself to be, ignore your self talk when you say it won’t happen, and keep pushing. Get help if you’re serious about those thoughts, because nobody should have to fight that battle alone