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This is wholesome. Fresh burning-body-scented popcorn.
I hate to break it to you, but those kernels would stew in your juices for at least a couple days before you got to be cremated, and they’d be all soft and mushy and would not pop.
So you spent your dying moments force-feeding yourself unpopped popcorn for nothing
That’s disgusting. At least eat a couple sticks of butter with that
Popcorn kernels? Nah.
Coin batteries.
I had to remove a few pacemaker batteries when I worked at a crematory. We threw them in bin in the processing room and until they ran out of juice, they’d beep like crazy periodically. They’re made like that so that while the person is alive, they’ll know when it’s disconnected.
It was drilled into our heads that the crematory retort would be RUINED if one of those things went in with the person.
edit: typo and more context.
“How’d they die?”
“Injested a large quantity of coin batteries and corn kernels.”
“Why on Earth would anyone do that?”
News story: Fucking tight thing happened when a dude ate…
Pffft amateurs. I’d just drink 3 litres of gasoline and shove a timed fuse down my throat. Everyone in the church will think satan is coming to get me
flashlight batteries. Get some 18650s 21700s, 26650s and some big ass 26800s
Don’t mind if I do.
Nobody watches the body during a cremation
Doesn’t matter whose watching if you can hear that shit from the next county.
Says the guy trying not to look like a serial killer.
I’m going to tell my grandma to put that in her will
