“kill” and “fuck”

Well, shit. That explains why we’ve been ghosted.

Every fucking deity; every time.

Gotta bring that avg. life expectancy up to increase retirement age to 85.

Youses is the Australian y’all.

They did it the other day to my fancy new bbq tongs. And before that it was a pate of grated cheese.

Ha! I know the bit well. Wouldn’t be surprised if my subconscious went there. One of the best standup sets ever.

“Double, please-No, wait!”

“Ah! You said double! No taksies backsies!” taps store policy sign

Oof.

I think you just discovered why they’re unionising so hard.

Microsoft: Don’t worry, Blizzard. We can quash a union attempt. There’s only like 100 of them, tops…

Blizzard: There’s 650.

Microsoft: _spits drink _. For this shit!?

Mine will do the restart and boot into Linux.

Windows Updates are always like that. Halfway through it’s got to restart, bootloader picks Linux, Windows doesn’t get to finish the other half of its update til the next time it’s chosen.

My Japanese friends can all tap out and rejoin with what seems like on-demand sleep in any position or location for as short as a three minute window to nap. It’s like some form of advanced meditation or self-hypnosis. I don’t get it and I’m so jealous.

“I’ll have none of that in this house! We’re good honest Christians and that’s that.”

A lot of beers aren’t great cold. The intended flavours come out at higher temps.

Coldness is marketed with mass quantity beer brands as it masks their awful flavour/low quality. Ergo, warm beer is associated with gross flavour, but it’s actually just really shit beer.

Just talk absolute shit, like I do.

Genuinely forgot this game existed. I was over it before COVID lockdowns.

Same. But usually I opt to sit at the back. Sometimes I get a seat to myself and if not, one of the rows is reserved for medical and always free, so they let me have that. Then on landing, it’s just a matter of laying back and catching up on my phone as the cattle crams itself into awful positions and just stands there staring at their comfy seats. But if the rear door is open, I’m straight off.

If you can’t be first, you want to be last. This is the golden rule of embarking/disemmbarking an aircraft.

You know he can’t wait to get home and try that shit out.

So often,

“Pssh. As I thought.”

Sometimes,

“Oh, wow.”

There was an old Canadian show called Reaper or something. Funny scene where an employee spends their 15 min break watching her boss losing it as he paces around his car in the distance.

“What’s his problem?”

“I put a note on his windshield saying ‘Sorry I hit you car’ and I’ve just been watching.”

Never got the buzz around cheesecke.

I’ll have a bite and be like, “Oh, that’s a bit yum.”

By bite three, “Ugh, this again?”

Can never finish a slice. Something about it just gets old and unappetizing really fast. If it’s going to taste really unhealthy, it can’t also taste really boring!

You can also filter out keywords like Trump, Elon, GOP, etc. Generally this excludes shit from their little tribal conflict but retains post that could be of interest.