I was paranoid once in my early twenties so I asked a doctor to check my bum for cancer (I didn’t know much about it at the time other than that it’s a thing that people do and apparently it’s nothing to be ashamed of, but I was also a bit of a hypochondriac).

Well she probably thought I was too young for that and just being a weirdo, cause she made it HURT as badly as she could, and I’ve had a thing about avoiding doctors ever since.