It sucks, but that’s the actual answer. You talk to the people that could be potential romantic partners. And you actually take an interest in them as a person and if they take an interest in you too, romance sometimes happens.
The hardest part is that if you are lonely and want a romantic partner, it can be hard to follow. Some people, myself included, are introverts that would prefer not to talk to lots of people. Sometimes the goal of obtaining a partner incorrectly becomes primary (either because you are lonesome, or because you think it’s the next step in your life, etc). It is very difficult to talk to someone and take a genuine interest in them and open up about yourself enough for them to take an interest in you when your focus is on obtaining a partner because people can sense that.
Talk to people, genuinely talk and listen and care about them (or realize you aren’t compatible). It sounds simple but it is really quite difficult. If you want to find people to talk to, engage in the world in things you like where potential romantic partners might also show up.
And if it feels weird, talk to more people, but more than talk listen to them. Not sure what to talk about? Ask them about themselves, people love to talk about themselves. Practice more and more talking to people, all kinds of people. Join groups that meet in person and talk to people. Get good at talking to people and the more you talk the more interesting experiences you have and the more interesting experiences you have the more interesting a partner you become and one day one of those people you are talking to is going to feel important and then you tell them that.
And it might work, it might not, they might not feel the same, you might have a couple awkward conversations that go no where. But we are social creatures, we want to talk and connect and be heard, we want to sit together and spend time together and eat together and share in one another.
My life changed for the better the day I realized I was the only one stopping me from experiencing this.
It do be like that. It does beg the question of how one actually finds a romantic partner.
Talk to people.
It sucks, but that’s the actual answer. You talk to the people that could be potential romantic partners. And you actually take an interest in them as a person and if they take an interest in you too, romance sometimes happens.
The hardest part is that if you are lonely and want a romantic partner, it can be hard to follow. Some people, myself included, are introverts that would prefer not to talk to lots of people. Sometimes the goal of obtaining a partner incorrectly becomes primary (either because you are lonesome, or because you think it’s the next step in your life, etc). It is very difficult to talk to someone and take a genuine interest in them and open up about yourself enough for them to take an interest in you when your focus is on obtaining a partner because people can sense that.
Talk to people, genuinely talk and listen and care about them (or realize you aren’t compatible). It sounds simple but it is really quite difficult. If you want to find people to talk to, engage in the world in things you like where potential romantic partners might also show up.
And if it feels weird, talk to more people, but more than talk listen to them. Not sure what to talk about? Ask them about themselves, people love to talk about themselves. Practice more and more talking to people, all kinds of people. Join groups that meet in person and talk to people. Get good at talking to people and the more you talk the more interesting experiences you have and the more interesting experiences you have the more interesting a partner you become and one day one of those people you are talking to is going to feel important and then you tell them that.
And it might work, it might not, they might not feel the same, you might have a couple awkward conversations that go no where. But we are social creatures, we want to talk and connect and be heard, we want to sit together and spend time together and eat together and share in one another.
My life changed for the better the day I realized I was the only one stopping me from experiencing this.
just be yourself ^^
I can’t find anyone else in my apartment, except my cat. I don’t like to leave my apartment because of panic attacks.
…but not too much
That doesn’t work :(