Microsoft: we’ll put your personal devices in a fucking HOA!
Apple: same, but we’ll mow the fucking grass.
Linux: fuck off. You are all ghetto trash. Here are the tools to address your problems. Use them or don’t. I don’t care.
Google: ….people still like chrome and YouTube right?
Netflix: piracy is for nerds! We will curate our library so you always have to find something else to watch, since what you paid for isn’t going to be there tomorrow.
Apple: we have TV shows too and they don’t disappear!
Amazon: but nobody watches you. With us, we have free shipping and hazbin hotel. We are basically glitch!
Glitch: the fuck you are. Watch knights of Guinevere to see what everyone actually thinks of all of you.
Me: …did I accidentally quadruple dose my adderall today?
Microsoft: we’ll put your personal devices in a fucking HOA!
Apple: same, but we’ll mow the fucking grass.
Linux: fuck off. You are all ghetto trash. Here are the tools to address your problems. Use them or don’t. I don’t care.
Google: ….people still like chrome and YouTube right?
Netflix: piracy is for nerds! We will curate our library so you always have to find something else to watch, since what you paid for isn’t going to be there tomorrow.
Apple: we have TV shows too and they don’t disappear!
Amazon: but nobody watches you. With us, we have free shipping and hazbin hotel. We are basically glitch!
Glitch: the fuck you are. Watch knights of Guinevere to see what everyone actually thinks of all of you.
Me: …did I accidentally quadruple dose my adderall today?