• LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works
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    5 hours ago

    Throwing a whole group of people in there with the actions of some idiots is a tiny bit rude.

    Signed, a straight man who kind of likes not being treated as a rapist and murderer.

    • Comrade_Spood@quokk.au
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      4 hours ago

      They are talking about a trend with straight people, not accusing every straight person of being a rapist. Rule of thumb, if someone critiques an identity that you are a part of and the critique doesnt apply to you then its probably not about you. Coming in and saying this type of shit makes you seem like an asshole who isnt listening to marginalized peoples’ struggles.

      Like for example I hear houseless people complain about nurses and doctors a lot because they tend to assume they are dope-seeking. If I was a nurse, I would listen and do my best not to be the kind of person they are talking about. I would not tell them “You should stop generalizing, cause I don’t do that.” It feels very invalidating and makes you come off as very self-centered.

      I aint gonna say people couldn’t rephrase better to avoid over generalization, but just saying that lets stop making it about ourselves when people are talking about real and serious problems affecting them. Be an active listener and dont be a part of the problem if you aint gonna be a part of the solution

      • Instigate@aussie.zone
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        3 hours ago

        Rule of thumb, if someone critiques an identity that you are a part of and the critique doesnt apply to you then its probably not about you.

        Try telling that to victims of racism, homophobia, transphobia, and other forms of bigotry. It’s not a particularly sound piece of advice.

        • petrol_sniff_king@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          2 hours ago

          I’m sure black and gay people love being wielded as a weapon to defend you from mild criticism that wasn’t even fired in your direction.

          I think I’m pretty good at not being racist. Do you think I spend a lot of time being upset with black people for code switching around me?

          • Instigate@aussie.zone
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            1 hour ago

            Just pointing out the logical fallacy in your argument; not disagreeing with your overall point. If you seek to be persuasive, form your argument on points that can’t be so easily dismantled. Framing the argument from the perspective of patriarchal hegemony would be far more advantageous as it can’t then be weaponised by those who would seek to be bigots.

            I’ve made no accusations towards you about being racist because I don’t know anything about you; I wouldn’t do that without evidence. It might be worth reflecting on why you felt I did so.

      • mika_mika@lemmy.world
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        4 hours ago

        I mean, I get it’s inappropriate to be like “what about men”. It’s pretty clear they are talking about blanket judging straight women for Perry’s actions. “Not ALL straight women” - ya see?

        In my experience though, they lean towards harassing gay men over queer women. 😅

      • LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works
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        4 hours ago

        Then let me rephrase it, because I forgot it’s the internet and people will try to misunderstand me.

        As a member of a non-specified group X, I would hate it if people would precondemn me based on thing Y, which a part of group X does more than the average population.

        I could have picked any other stereotype, I just happen to be not a woman, and of the majority ethnicity in my country. Blame my parents.

        However, based on this hypothetical, yet relatable thought experiment, saying that a group does a bad thing because some people who happen to be in that group do that bad thing more often than other people is at the very least rude.

        • im_just_a_gerbil@thelemmy.club
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          4 hours ago

          uhhhhh no one misunderstood what you were saying - thank you for bringing the conversation back to what matters, the struggles of the most victimized group of all time. make sure you let every queer voice on the internet know what we should focus on. i really appreciate it thanks so much <3