Outlooks, is that what’s inside of me?

See, I’ve been thinking a lot about this. What am I? What aren’t I? Am I composite or irreducible? These are hard fucking questions.

I think about why I care in the first place… unlike dogs, cats, kangaroos… the behavior of these animals don’t demonstrate contemplation. It’s as though they exist in a sort of “spotlight” consciousness—aware and responding to the spotlight of qualia in their field of awareness. Why are we different?

Psychedelics are rather interesting because they have this profound capacity for instigating the feeling of deep insight. How is it that some mushrooms can make me feel like everything suddenly makes sense, when I have not actually learned anything during my trip?

I get the feeling that the quality of an insight can be approximated somehow, and the brain likely uses this to make me feel the “aha” moment I know from true insights. That’s to say, insight is a feeling—and it can be triggered independent of actual insights having occurred. Fascinating idea, no?

How might my brain approximate the quality of an insight? Well, if I’m not full of shit about this, then I think the answer here is an architectural one. Something about the structure of concepts should, perhaps necessarily, allow for related concepts to be graded by the quality of their relationship. For example as when you learn a new form of mathematics, as your brain realizes the strength of connection to prior learned forms of mathematics, it can make you feel “aha.”

The “aha” feeling is tethered to my reward incentive, which helps structure my self-prescribed purpose. I want to learn, understand, grow… these are all endeavors that help mankind, because it is in mankind’s personal interest to levy control over nature. It makes sense, in this way, that I am how I am.

But outlooks inside me? Hmm… I need to think on your theory more.