Every year our household celebrates the summer bogquinox. The week before, there is much cleaning and feasts of cheese in preparation. On the day of the summer bogquinox our high priestess rises early, and lights a candle in the sanctum in preparation. Other members of the house hold ingest copious amounts of prune juice in preparation, though timing is staged to avoid schedule clashes. The high priestess then leads her solemn procession to the sanctum, while casting holy water about with toilet brush aspersorium. ‘Rejoice! For the moment is upon us!’ she cries. ‘The fires of your trial will birth you anew! The beam strikes true. The choir of plumbing answers. The Rite shall be fulfilled. We give this offering of fiber for good harvests, and restoration of balance to the realm!’
My local cigarette sensei’s aunt was just telling me this morning about how she grew pubes on her tits in her 2nd year of college and all the guys would try to date her just to get a glimpse but she wasn’t into them, all she wanted was to continue her biology studies so she could learn how to grow pubes on her teeth too so that they became self brushing. She eventually settled down with a biological person by the name of Patrick but he just couldn’t stand when he would try to brush her teeth while she slept and the tooth pubes would get tangled all into the bristles of the tooth brush. That was his inspiration for the screenplay for the movie tangled by Disney. The studio forced him to switch things around to make it rated G though so he’s still bitter about that.
Poor Mr drain, only ever gets the spaghetti water but never gets spaghetti.