On the ultimatum note… there was this guy who was friends with my friends, I didn’t know him well, but they spent a lot of time together and I did see him many times a year. My friends were a couple (m/f). I asked why I hadn’t seen him in awhile, and they told me that he got a new girlfriend and his new girlfriend didn’t want him hanging out with other women, so he pretty much stopped being friends with them. I haven’t seen him since, it’s been like a decade.