Most of my friends are women, i have more issues with men than women; and they also aren’t judging when i open up. But i know that they aren’t representative.

The issue is that it only takes one overzealous woman to ruin a mans life in the US: having trouble with cops on the playground, losing a job over social media accusations without proof - at least for the large majority of men. (things are different when we look at people in power, where hard facts aren’t enough to remove them - this enrages me just as much as any woman)

In that way, women are as much an aggressor as men are, it’s just that their tools are different. Where a aggressive man might tend to physical violence, aggressive women are able to dish it out with social violence.

I just wanted to show up that painting men as the source of all evil is shortsighted. There are a lot of women applying pressure to keep men in the role they are in, cementing the patriarchate just as much as men are.

And why shouldn’t they? If you don’t want to work outside of passion projects, or want to be a homemaker while your husband brings in the money? If you shy away from responsibility and feel safer when a strong father figure decides? Or being fine with men being in charge, as long as they have control over their husband? Those lifestyles are all valid too, and they profit directly from the patriarchate in one way or another, even if it might not be healthy at all.

There is no (or next to none) help for men to step outside of this structure. I am totally for helping women to get their rightful place side by side to men, but there also has to be a discussion about how not only men are oppressing everyone, but also how women are using their tools to oppress everyone, and how it is harmful to just paint one side as the perpetrator here.

There also should be more of an discourse about how life and values for men should look after achieving equality, because just replacing the patriarchate with an matriarchate is not gonna cut it.