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Oh no. I’m lactose intolerant but I’ve been storing my plant-based ice cream in a regular freezer!
Meanwhile, Elaine is dating a karate sensei and they get mugged in the park and he didn’t use his karate to protect her, Kramer is making counterfeit kurieg pods, and Jerry has a new set that only works offstage.
Like George would end up being married lol
Tell him turn up to the ribbon cutting, try the dairy free ice cream, say"Christ that’s rank!" and then vomit on the CEO’s shoes.
Problem solved.
He’ll need to learn to vomit on command.
Bro just keep running with it at this point he’s made enough waves for those who are lactose intolerant and you know what the best thing he can do is: tell everyone that he’s taking a prescription grade Lactose intolerant treatment and if anyone asks him how is it going he can tell people, “he’s, starting treatment and it’s going slow but he doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to really enjoy Lactose.”
Then!!! He can go one step further and every time there’s a birthday he can, “forget,” his prescription grade Lactose intolerance pills and not participate while still getting to enjoy a creamy coffee.
I once leaned into my social anxiety to try and get out of some company outings and dinners etc. Instead of being able to get out of them, the company made a big deal about being inclusive of me and booked a “quiet meal” at a restaurant. It was meant as a place for people with sensory overload issues. Instead it became my awkward silence hell. Nobody talking but looking with that look at me occasionally.
I’d rather awkward chewing and constantly wiping my mouth to talk than that.
Right, one employee has a common digestive issue that’s common to many, and they devote an entire dairy free ice cream machine to him, and make him a diversity case study? That doesn’t sound remotely plausible.
Where does it say anything about an ice cream machine? I agree that a company probably wouldn’t even spend money on a dedicated fridge/freezer, but I’m seriously wondering where you get the ice cream machine part from
He might be management or HR. They’d never buy an extra machine even if half the common workers were lactose intolerant.
You really think someone would do that? Just go in the internet and tell lies?
Take that shit to the grave imo
“Have fun with us, Dave. You must.”
As they flash a menacing smile that doesn’t quite reach the eyes…
With these eyes
This didn’t happen.
Likely not. It’s mocking how work places do tend to operate however, so it’s humorous in the respect.
A lot of people need to learn to both say no, and not care about what people say after you said no.
People who have 0 interest in respecting your choices are not worth pleasing.
I mentioned that I’m lactose intolerant once to the person who organizes lunch/snack events in the office. Since then, there’s always fruit sherbet included with the regular ice cream whenever there’s a free food event on our floor.
I don’t like frozen fruit juice for dessert, and I can still tolerate a small serving of regular of ice cream, so I’ve never touched the sherbet. I don’t know if they’ve noticed.
I’ve so far defied conventional wisdom by just saying flat out when I don’t want to deal with off-hours ‘fun’ time. Which has pretty much been every time. During work hours? Sure no problem. No I’m not going to a team dinner or evening movie.
Most egregious one was a couple decades back when the team was arranging a nice holiday dinner. This was early in my career so I hadn’t yet developed the comfort to reject, but the event was “pay your own way” and the restauraunt was a $120 a person, and that is not an inflation adjusted figure. I had barely enough to make rent at the time so there’s no way I was going to piss away $120 just to eat with coworkers that I get to see every day anyway. I was so nervous declining, but it got a bit easier when they acted offended I wouldn’t do it and said $120 wasn’t really a lot of money.
$120 isnt really a lot of money.
“I think the HR department is stealing a LOT of wages, because theres no way you and I are looking at the same paycheque boss”
I was a fresh out of school hire as a “temp” in a team that were mostly years on as “real” employees.
Lactose intolerant??? No I said I lack toes in toddler ants!
That’s always been the problem with toddler ants, actually.
“Turns out I’m allergic to people. Yep. “
He just learned he’s actually casein-intolerant, whoops this stuff bothers him too.
