• dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I’m a heavy shitter, I shit alot and I shit so much my ass crack looks like caramelized fondu. When I go outside flys swarm around my ass and get stuck on my sticky ass crack. Everyone would avoid me in the local Walmart when I shop for gaming supplies (Doritos and Dr Pepper mostly). I have difficultly wiping because I can’t physically reach under there and I can’t stand up in the shower. One day my mom told me to lose weight (yeah thanks for bullying me again mom 😒) and I know I’m a little heavy at the moment because I have to use cooking oil to greese up the doorframes so I can squeeze through but that’s only because of capitalism shrinking all the rental apartments and cramming as many people in as possible. Anyway I was playing Amongus and one of my femboy friends told me about bidgets. At first I was like “huh?” and he explained that because he plays Genshin he cannot physically leave the house or bathe and he has a special toilet that cleans his butthole for him. So I ordered one off Amazon and my god it is the best thing ever, now this device shoots water up my asshole and poof! No more shit streaked stretch pants woohoo!