Who the hell is washing pillowcases and t-shirts in the same load of laundry

Holy shit

No, it’s Jean Luc Picard in a Professor X costume.

Homie, enjoy your incoming hemorrhoid, you’ve earned it.

Yup

- Happy birthday!

- Thanks, you too!

It makes me toot too much :(

Musk maybe, but Trump? I doubt it. I think he’s just an asshole.

Same. As an introvert I call this being “on”. Like making sure I smile appropriately and then wondering if I’m smiling too much, trying to establish a rapport when I’d rather just get to the point, remembering not to mutter to myself or make faces in response to my thoughts, and mirroring people’s body language. It’s easier just to be a weirdo!

In a world full of people, only some want to buy

Break out of frames!

The fuck is happening there? Jesus

Right? IMO it’s rude to just call someone out of the blue and expect that they’ll be able to drop everything to chat with you.

Unfortunately, my mom loves to call unannounced, and because my parents are getting older I feel the need to answer in case something’s wrong.

Egg whites.

Marsupilami!

Not significant but casual. E.g., when I’m headed to wawa and I ask my husband if he wants anything, he says “yeah, a blue gatorade”.

The Rezillos - Somebody’s Gonna Get Their Head Kicked In Tonight

Good point, I didn’t catch that

Shiloh all the way.

My husband says pobcorn just to fuck with me, I hate it so bad but I can’t help laughing