I was about to say, like, the coloring of the shirt made it look like she was wearing a bra, which made the messaging about going braless kind of seem… stupid?

Apparently, in the Lakota tradition, it’s pretty common for everybody to stay asleep in the funeral home on the night before the funeral.

It’s kind of like a mixer for the recently departed.

Kind of funny to think about if Jesus learned English through prayers, so he assumes that “Please let me win the lottery” translates to, “Hi, how are you doing?”

The dude has been doing cocaine for like the last 55 years.

He probably hasn’t had a sober day in longer than most of us have been alive, And eventually, whatever dark magics it is that sustains him will fade. And we will never think of or hear about this guy ever again.

Facebook: makes a system where the only way to get engagement is to hatepost.

People on facebook: hateposts

People: “How could this happen?”

I bet most of them are affiliated with a Christian church of some variety, at least 60%

I remember pulling out new towels from my high school gym and them being already dirty.

Then why the hell were they always so fucking dirty looking?

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I didn’t mind it at all, but I had decent hardware, which apparently made all of the difference.

The trolley is still relevant because if you don’t step into the transporter, people die. If you do, there’s a good chance some version of you dies, but some version of you survives. So is the current version of you more valuable than the lives of the people on the track?

There was a movie about it called The Prestige.

I think the real argument or concern behind this is, do we have a soul?

If not, then yes, stepping into a transporter means that you die, and that some other version of you continues on, but that doesn’t matter because nothing was actually lost.

If we do have a soul, then the question becomes, does your soul survive the transport?

If it does, then it’s no worries, it’s just a means of transportation.

But if it doesn’t, then does the version of you that pops out of the other side have a brand new soul, or is it now soulless?

And finally, how could we ever tell?

I’m willing to die to save people, so if some version of me actually gets to survive it, with there being a chance that it is me, then there’s no reason for me not to do it.

What is a sissy hypno mode?

Fortunately, Ralph is functionally immortal as the rolling concept of Ralph gets re-instantiated every single time a new hand touches the beacon.

He may be afraid, but his fear will only end when the human race does, or when his concept has been completely removed from our memetic lexicon.

It’s more like conservation of karma. You get a thing you wanted at a price you weren’t prepared to pay.

Trying to follow those guidelines, I would guess the list would be something more like:

1: Nothing changes, the only difference is that if you would otherwise put on more body fat than you currently have, the excess fat gets turned to horrible uncontrollable diarrhea that hits with no warning, so now you have to be on a diet for the rest of your life or else you’ll shit yourself in public.

2: Has to spend the rest of your life eating more than you burn as any weight you lose would be permanently lost, which will eventually kill you unless something else kills you first. This is computed by your original weight, so even if you would be fine with 800 calories, you must consume your current maintenance calories every day for the rest of your life. (See: Steven King’s Thinner)

3: You are unable to purchase anything. Every transaction fails. If people do not feed you out of the kindness of their hearts, or failing that, you are unable to barter for goods and services, you will die of hunger and exposure to the elements.

4: You get 5cm taller. People start telling you how much they liked you the way you were and that they feel lesser about you now that you’re taller. The new people you meet often comment on how hot/sexy/great/beautiful you would be if only you were a little bit shorter.

5: You become super strong but your bones and tendons can’t keep up. Using your super strength is pussyfooting with permanent disability.

6: No, yours is right. “you can not feel anything but happiness - no pain, anger, sadness, nothing but joy” Banger. Spot on. No Notes.

7: Have many followers would be worse if it was just a cult of people who follow you everywhere you go. The only time you can be alone is in your own home, until they realize they can just break in.

8: Forget your ex lover but they forget you too. You eternal sunshine of the spotless mind each other

9: A lot of money but the people you love die. <- This was one of the original monkey’s paws, iirc.

I’d pick 459 if I could put the 5cm on my ding dong.

1 is much better all around, assuming that they mean you “instantly drop to an ideal body fat percentage” and not “all of the fat on your body disappears forever”

Yeah, “Don’t gain weight from eating” would mean that any dieting you do would be permanent. You lose 1 oz, that 1 oz is gone forever.

Super easy to lose weight that way, but also, potentially risky in that you could unintentionally diet away all of your body fat and not be able to replace it.

Even if you’re a consistent overeater, you’re going to have days where you can’t hit your target and lose more weight.

Sounds more like a curse than a blessing.

You’d be lucky to make it to your mid 60s unless you started out very overweight and didn’t try to crash diet your way to “normalcy”.