Hey, I got a trick question for you;

The Earth. Is is it round or flat?

Fuxk I spelled just wrong. Guess .y life if over

I certainly do. I’m a Mormon Occultist and a master baiter. I said, I’m a fisher of men. Someone will respond, and if they don’t, I’ll jist start talking to myself and have a real funky time.

It’s the same con game

Yea, it’s the confidence that those gentlemen were artists at.

Confidence arts

Con arts

That’s why it’s called that

This is who I am. I identify as a Mormon Occultist, and so I am. But I don’t identify as an alcoholic, so I’m not. I’m gunna get into stand-up with this bit, I think.

Do not bring up how deep fourteen year olds are around me. This is not what I need to be thinking about in my new Mormon life.

It’s two weeks, silly. That’s how you con an entire country. You just keep the people living paycheck to paycheck thinking it’s all going to change if they just work hard enough to push through this next bit. That’s what’s keeping the machine working, where y’all are cogs n gears n shit

Debt do does what it will and won’t do, so I don’t, and that’s why I don’t pay my taxes. Also, in other news, I cost taxes.

Protip: you can count to one by counting your dick, but some people will count zero instead.

My favorite insult of all time involves telling someone to go count their dick

I would pay seven figures to be the caboose in a human centipede

You are reacting to masses but attributing caricature as if the masses were individuals. You’re being played by the game. On any story there’s X% of people who are fuming over it, but its not the same people. You’re reacting to the system but treating broad categories as persons. By default, you’re strawmanning, and there’s power to that, but until you grow out of that mindset, you are ruled by the strawmen you create for yourself, or rather, who our cultural engineers create for you.

I would, but I know the FBI is watching me from inside my own brain AND from satellite AND wifi

Flayed, I say the way to pray is hey! Hallelujah!

How bout me?

Bro, watch/read Catch Me if You Can. Frank Abagnale is one of my heroes, like Joseph Smith is, and for the sane reason Christ is our lord. The audacity of a man in reflective vest, hardhat, with ladder and/or clipboard to walk confidently into a building to waltz up to the seventeenth floor to steal state secrets? Well, I’ve only done that four times, so it’s not like I’m an expert or anything.

Regan sounds like some sort of sect of veganism. They refrain from consuming animal products unless the animal signed a consent form, which is prolly what’s coming with Neuralink. People can’t handle same sex marriage, so what happens when animals consent? I’m not even a furry, I’m a foot fetishist, but ethical bestiality is coming in the next generation, I would say. And damn is Fox News going to implode!

No, I’m a performance artist playing an autobiographical character. I got called retarded by my father because I didn’t know what “keep your eye on the ball” meant in little league. I identify with it because I AM an oblivious savant, you unempathic whore.

Who is Catherine? I want to know, in case I have put my foot in my mouth. Cuz I dunno.