I was in my 30s when I learned that intensely itchy and stingy mouth is not part of the flavor profile of walnuts and I’m just mildly allergic.
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Cake day: June 28th, 2023
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They’re mint flavored and come in a black package.
I’m at the point in my life where I throw on a black t shirt if I’m sitting down to eat something saucy at home.
No, I think “very” is the appropriate amount of scared for being this close to a moose. They’ll fuck you up.
I think maybe it’s your boss you should thank?
The mocking birds start around 1am here. They’re at it all day as well, so I think they only sleep from like dusk to 1 during fucking season.
Bonus points for sounding like little car alarms.
“I’m upright and not crying.”
You just slowly but firmly push your cart into that whole situation while saying “sorry! Scuse me! Sorry!”
Wednesday is Senior Discount Day at my local grocery store and it’s unbridled chaos. I do my best to avoid Wednesdays.
Lots of old people can’t smell and are perpetually crop dusting.
Source: spend a lot of time with old people
I had a little succulent leaf fall off a plant while it was in the back of my car, by the time I noticed it, it had fully rooted to the carpet. I gently untangled it and planted it in some dirt outside though.
Cars get pretty hot in the summer.
And children using litter boxes
No, you’re fine. The meme police like to bother about, but they don’t really understand the concept of memes, so don’t listen to them.
Pears are the new pineapple.
He did do that, but was also big racist. Not nearly as motivated as Hitler, but similar viewpoints.
Yeah… but don’t sleep on the buzzards. They have the most acidic stomach acid of any critter and they can projectile vomit as a weapons system.
Pecans are life