• essell@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    A good therapist can feel like they’re reading your mind.

    Emotional intelligence isn’t the only skill involved in that, still a big part of it.

    • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world
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      8 hours ago

      they aren’t though, they are just asking you leading questions and giving you a ton of runway

      and they have a shitload of experience dealing with people who are just like you, so your story to them is probably not unique or weird, but rather cliche and boring.

      • essell@lemmy.world
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        7 hours ago

        That’s not how I teach therapists to work.

        We don’t use leading questions, we do really and genuinely want to understand and I’ve never worked with someone who wasn’t totally unique even if their story was superficially similar to another

        • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world
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          5 hours ago

          cool, you realize there are a lot of therapists that have completely different methods right?

          and many of them suck at their job, regardless of method.

          also the fact you think everyone is totally unique, makes me entirely question your validity of a therapist. most people are not especially unique in their problems or circumstances. though often they are convinced they are, especially if they aren’t in a support group or social isolated.

          • essell@lemmy.world
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            4 hours ago

            You know how many cards there are in a deck?

            People can shuffle them into a random order and then memorise the order, so it’s really not that many cards.

            Each time you shuffle the deck it’s the same familiar cards, we can easily recognise and differentiate every card in the deck.

            But how many different ways are there to arrange that deck of cards? How many possible combinations?

            More than there are stars in the sky. Every shuffle is unique.

            I love my job because I get to use familiar ideas to help people make sense of their own unique shuffle 😊

            • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world
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              2 hours ago

              cool, my card metaphor would be, how many good hands are there in poker? there are 10.

              and most everyone disregarded the last two, and only plays if they have two pair or higher, so only 8 are considered worthwhile to have.

              everyone is chasing the same thing, to have one of the higher ranked hands so that they can win.

              i’m glad you look at a dirty diaper and think it’s a beautiful rainbow, but most of us just think it’s shit and we toss it in the trash. and we only see a real rainbow maybe once or twice a year or less.

              i have lived my life entirely shocked at how similar and robotic most folks live their lives. very few people are unique or interesting, most are just a series of cliches and can only express themselves in cliches because they have never had a critical or original thought in their entire life.

          • velma@sh.itjust.works
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            5 hours ago

            Cool, you realize that therapists aren’t a monolith and blithely telling people it’s a waste is potentially holding people back from solutions and feeling better, right?

    • huppakee@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      I read this graph also as in “you need to change” and “i can’t change you”, understanding you can’t control anyone else can give you great amounts of inner peace.