In a long dumb story I once went to jail over a speeding ticket that was a day late.
The two cops couldn’t believe they had to arrest me for it and the jail was so backed up I was there for four days.
I was still a teenager and terrified, but I put on a face and told every joke I’d ever heard to get by. My last morning there My bunkmate found me so entertaining he offered me a free prostitute, which I had to very politely decline.
i mean, did you at least look at the photo?
… Just say thank you? You don’t need to follow through with their offer to acknowledge their appreciation.
Nah, it’s just that she had so many names pop into her head and wasn’t expecting such a rare and selfless offer. It’s crazy what happens when you treat nurses with respect and kindness like anyone else.
How can I pick just one?!
“Actually I’m gonna just write down people to not kill, everyone else is fair game.”
This occasional offering should be better publicized, then maybe people would be nicer.
Otherwise:
“You know what, there’s this Karen down in ward 7…”My dude! 🤣
Whoosh
For some reason I imagined MS13 having a super courteous hotline with corporate help desk people for their hitmen.
Lol just ICA style Diana Burnwood answers the phone. You’re like “my upstairs neighbor is pretty loud I guess, idk, never done this before.” That night, he disappears off the face of the planet.
“Contract complete 47, good work”
Meanwhile the police are casually questioning you about if you’ve seen him recently.
you need someone taken care of
*Dude starts nursing school
It would really help me out if you could take care of the elderly. All of them. I know you can do this because you’re a soldier.
like unironically though, i feel like at least some gangsters could be set on an at least slightly better path if the nurse that saved their life asked that they make fewer people die rather than more
“Well, now that you mention it…”
u need someone taken care of, you call me, no charge.
Tfw MS13 shows up at your hated enemy’s house with a big pot of soup, aspirin, tissues, blankets, and feel good DVDs.
Got it, don’t fuck with doctors and medics. Understood.
The only group of people that you don’t fuck with even more is dentists
True, they don’t need hitman services.
I don’t know what’s more terrifying: a dentist’s bottom drawer or a surgeon’s bottom drawer.
The only group of people that you don’t fuck with even more is the 9 out of 10 dentists group
FTFY
We don’t talk about that 1 in 10 anymore. Anyone know why?
I mean, generally a good rule to live by, but now even more so, apparently.
If you need a reason, that’s a pretty good one.
You tell them that you need them to take care of themselves. You can handle the emotional baggage that their thug life is going to get them so hurt you won’t be able to save them one day.
This is a big plot mechanic in a great French movie called Ne Le Dis A Personne
Helped a guy once on the bus who went through a terrible time. Turned out he was a gang member and offerd me something similar. I said thank you and asked him to return the favor in a similar way I did with him to an other stranger.
He should have added an asterisk mentioning that it only applies to unarmed men, women, and old people.
